Crystal

[Crystal @crystalm]

Am I binge watching Obama speech vids....DUH

[Crystal @crystalm]

A decade + on, and I still crush hard on @MrJamesMay

[Crystal @crystalm]

Oh man, this hits extra special in 2020

[Crystal @crystalm]

Did initiate resolution: dill pickles are 100% better on a tuna sandwich than sweet, and sweet cannot be substituted on a pickle & cheese

[Crystal @crystalm]

And I broke yet another pair of Louboutins right in half... This is why I can't have nice things

[Crystal @crystalm]

Not only am I stuck in traffic, even worse I'm stuck in a Sentra.....#fml

[Crystal @crystalm]

Dammit Stuart Scott, didn't think you'd get to me! #somanyfeels #espnfeelsnetwork #booyah

[Crystal @crystalm]

"Can we do keg stands? I don't have a mani pedi scheduled until late afternoon!" says the buff black dude at the bar....

[Crystal @crystalm]

New drinking game: drink every time the girl at the table next to me says "...I'm in law school..." Ready, set, gonna be drunk real quick

[Crystal @crystalm]

Just got asked what year I was in at #UW, uggggh I graduated in 2006 lady, but thanks! #GoDawgs

[Crystal @crystalm]

I just watched a Xmas shopping commercial, it is the beginning of September, I'm going to throw a brick through my screen now.

[Crystal @crystalm]

Neighbors were locked out of their house at 12:27am, had to coach them through keyless re-entry, went much better than the time I tried...

[Crystal @crystalm]

Hardest phrase in the English language to speak: "I am unhappy"

[Crystal @crystalm]

The oyster shucking knife discussion happening right now at Walrus is fascinating.......or just Lithuanian.

[Crystal @crystalm]

I finally understand.....

[Crystal @crystalm]

I think the Seahawks will be Super Bowl champs. Get ready to light up the Empire State Building green, @VerizonWireless! #WhosGonnaWin

[Crystal @crystalm]

Baby polar bears are just sweet mini polar bears whose human murdering skills are still adorable and harmless

[Crystal @crystalm]

My baby boy Hankster is all grown up! First day of work today at Hankazon (in the future, Hankazon the company previously known as Amazon)

[Crystal @crystalm]

@Seattle_Bitch wait what?!?! I never knew, great plan though!

[Crystal @crystalm]

Goodnight moon. Until tomorrow.