Caitlin Schwanda

At my sixth birthday I made my friends hold hands, form a circle, and recite the Pledge of Allegiance before opening my presents.

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

It's crazy that if Alexander Hamilton had just gone upstate for the summer, he'd still be alive.

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

@KurtSchwanda I guess there are worse jorts wearing people to be mistaken for than Jimmy Fallon.

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

@KurtSchwanda This seems like your own fault for running into his hand with your face...

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

The Schwanda family bat adventures continue... There's currently a bat in my apartment. 😂

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

"Pickleball is the Jesus of racquet sports. It lowers the bar so all may enter." #overheardatfocus

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

I cannot express the joy I get from reporting an error in a kindle book.

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

Seeing two cyber trucks at once has to be a glitch in the matrix.

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

"who would eat airport lobster?!" #overheardatfocus

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

"I'm so excited to expense things!" #overheardatfocus

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

"Hoodies are crazy. It's just like a little pocket for your head that you keep on your back." #overheardatfocus

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

"I'm so passionate, people call me passion fruit." #overheardatyouthgroup

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

@not_THAT_vine just called me April Ludgate and honestly, what a compliment.

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

Can you even imagine anything worse than seeing a cyber truck with antlers?

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

My car was broken into while I was at the gym last night, so I think the moral of the story is that working out is bad.

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

The fact that there are political ads still running while I'm watching the election results is egregious.

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

Remember when we were all putting balsamic vinegar in seltzer and lying to ourselves about it tasting like Coke? Man, the internet really does make us do weird things.

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

@abs_chells You probably like participation trophies too. 😂

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

My issue with early voting is that now I have to see people post pictures with their I Voted stickers for weeks instead of just for one day.

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

Thank God that Google just notified me that Election Day is coming up. How else would I have known?

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

Today at youth group a kid asked if I was born in 2000 while another one asked what a CD is. So like, am I old or not?

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

Will I learn from this going forward? Unlikely.

[Caitlin Schwanda @cschwanda33]

Turns out that if you read all the way through a recipe before making it, you can probably save yourself some dishes by using the appropriately sized bowls from the start. Who knew?