Chris Showaker

I was born in Buffalo, NY & raised in the suburbs of Philadelphia, PA.

[Chris Showaker @cshowaker]

Whenever somebody sends me a message with an emoji, I have to screenshot it & magnify it just to see what it is. #BlindGuyProblems

[Chris Showaker @cshowaker]

I just walked past someone, said hello, & got no reply. Turned out it was a statue of the Virgin Mary. #BlindGuyProblems #MerryChristmas

[Chris Showaker @cshowaker]

I guess I shouldn't look at the eclipse tomorrow, I might go blind #NotBlindGuyProblems

[Chris Showaker @cshowaker]

#RestRooms should be labeled "Clean" & "Sloppy". I don't care who I share one with, don't make a mess & clean up after yourself if you do.

[Chris Showaker @cshowaker]

I was hitting balls at the driving range. I think I hit some good shots but I couldn't see where most of them went. #Golf #BlindGuyProblems

[Chris Showaker @cshowaker]

Once I was eating sandwich on OCNJ Boardwalk when a seagull dive bombed me out of nowhere and stole my meal #BlindGuyProblems

[Chris Showaker @cshowaker]

I was walking & 3 people said "Hi Chris" + waved at car who honked. Only problem is I have no idea who any of them were. #BlindGuyProblems

[Chris Showaker @cshowaker]

I was walking down the street trying to avoid all the dog poo, accidentally kicked one & realized they were pine cones. #BlindGuyProblems

[Chris Showaker @cshowaker]

Every Friday the 13th I'm thankful Jason stalked Camp Crystal Lake & not the blind camp I was at. We would've sitting ducks. #FridayThe13th

[Chris Showaker @cshowaker]

I would like to thank my mother for not breast feeding me until I was 4 years old & putting me on the cover of Time magazine #MothersDay