Caitlin Corkery

tv producer at WHYY | improv instructor at PHIT | occasional host of the philly Moth | drinks in canoes

[WHYY Union @WHYYunion]

Today, @WHYY execs raised the threat of layoffs during union wage negotiations if we did not agree to their unreasonable demands.

This is an unconscionable stance. Here’s why 🧵 (1/6)

[Caitlin Corkery @csweigel]

as i was reading this morning, i saw a word that started with the letter 'H' and my first thought was 'they forget the other line in that hashtag symbol.'

[Caitlin Corkery @csweigel]

do you keep your lucky pennies mixed in with the normie pennies?

[Caitlin Corkery @csweigel]

adult people who ride razor scooters as a means of transportation: help me understand you.

[Caitlin Corkery @csweigel]

my greatest weakness? probably my outright refusal to spell 'twinz' correctly.

[Caitlin Corkery @csweigel]

"going to a different grocery store is almost like a mini vacation," I said and suddenly I had three children, a wad of kohls cash in my hand, and a lifetime of compromise.

[Caitlin Corkery @csweigel]

i'm just trying to lose some baby weight, not in the sense that i had a baby but in the sense that i once was a baby, and never really grew out of that chub.

[Caitlin Corkery @csweigel]

just heard a man say, "does a dog look like god? no!" to the child he was walking with and i feel like i need to spend the rest of the day tracking them down and letting that child know the answer could actually be yes.

[Caitlin Corkery @csweigel]

to prevent myself from buying unnecessary things in target i've started repeating "consumerism is a middle class distraction" / please invite me to your parties.

[Caitlin Corkery @csweigel]

I have justified keeping so many old and/or broken things "in case I go camping."

[Caitlin Corkery @csweigel]

If this class sells out I promise to update this old as hell headshot. #nowfeaturingmorecheekbones #jpsameface https://t.co/EVCx76Pz3Y

[Philly Improv Theater @phitcomedy]

Improv 101 with @csweigel runs Thursdays this summer. Sign up today and learn from this brilliant comedian! https://t.co/IX8gnBEpW5

[Caitlin Corkery @csweigel]

Super romantic honeymoon activities including gleefully calling out continuity errors on Friends.

[Caitlin Corkery @csweigel]

On the bright side, if all my wedding stress dreams come true it means I’m clairvoyant! #nothingissetup #noonecomes #mymomwearsjeans

[Caitlin Corkery @csweigel]

Nightmare last night was just trying to write “ANDREW” in bubble letters over and over again but always running out of space for the “w.”

[Caitlin Corkery @csweigel]

Fiddles are just happy violins, right?

[Caitlin Corkery @csweigel]

I’m whitening my teeth so hard they’re turning clear

[Caitlin Corkery @csweigel]

Hot Take: I do not like any wedding photos taken at an angle because this is not a promo shot for a band featured on a minor stage at Warped Tour.

[Caitlin Corkery @csweigel]

All my coworkers just brought over spoons and we took turns scooping out fluff and peanut butter. The transition from “marketing department” to “sleepover” is finally complete.

[Caitlin Corkery @csweigel]

You mention something to a doctor or an aunt ONE TIME and it’s all they know about you forever. Which is why I have a million cow figurines and I still have to talk about heart palpitations from 2012.

[Caitlin Corkery @csweigel]

The average length of a Cheers courtship from meeting to proposal is approximately eleven minutes.