frighteningly normal

married to the sea

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

my favorite part of sex is workshopping tweets in my head while i'm doing it

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

they’re really coming out with a lot of cutting-edge products

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

business idea: customers order a single vape hit and a delivery person brings it to them. the delivery person supervises. the customer pays per vape hit, and it’s capped at 5 minutes. the customer does not under any circumstances get to keep the vape. they can order 3x/day

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

when will it be enough

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

@eggsfart that’s really nice of you thank you brian

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

the ice cream man should sell loosies

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

@eggsfart please we can’t miss our chance please

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

@eggsfart this one has free delivery https://t.co/DYR01JaBFO

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

@eggsfart we can alternate. i don’t have $30,000, do you?

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

@eggsfart this is the perfect side hustle. would you mind moving to philadelphia?

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

@eggsfart no one does that anymore

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

@Dunk_Tank poisons are types of potions

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

they should start a new football league where you’re allowed to use potions

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

@inevitablegumbo yeah i think they should be able to summon monsters to fight for them

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

maybe she’s born with it. maybe she’s being poisoned

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

i like when my friends talk to each other about me as if i am some bizarre circumstance they are experiencing together

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

taco bell is great for when you have $2 and you really want to feel like you have $2

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

they should make a Painting With A Twist where the twist is that one person in the room gets fleas

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

hello fresh keeps sending me bad limes #hellofreshkeepssendingmebadlimes

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

i have no effective mental defense against the first hope

[frighteningly normal @cuddleordie]

just thought about jesse mccartney