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UPDATE: I have been rejected for sending pictures of cards and suggesting thry are banned just because “the cards are on your balls wtf”

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On the plus side, it is a week truly rife with opportunity if you have wanted to join the commander advisory committee

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@MiscutNinja @maxtortion I chuckle to myself “unfortunately, you dullard, my anime bikini sleeves are ‘woke’ and by not thinking they are cool you are legally sexist”

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Well the dream is dead, missing my first pro tour in 15 years and all because the judging staff were woke (i shat my pants and rolled around on the floor, also I was not entered in the tournament)

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@gasmtg There are ways to plow my wife that don’t lower your tournament EV long term

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Fucking fuming, playing CEDH at a new store, player to my right PROMISED he wouldn't fuck my wife, lo and behold when I come home early from work what do I find...

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How are there 2 sides to the 'touching other people's cards is gross' discourse? It's fucking disgusting to touch someone else's cards. That's where I wipe my cum you sicko

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I have been shadow banned because during spoiler season I shared an image of every single card saying “can I say something without anyone getting mad at me”

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Sucks that “time lord” is the first two word creature type when it should have been “ass man”

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If I was on the submarine and one of the other occupants tried to mana bully me I would kill myself before I even realised we were lost

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I cherish the moment before the fan art fully loads, will Jace have a gargantuan member or something more elegant? Pure opportunity and bliss, anything is possible. This is why Schrodinger risked it all.

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5 years meticulous work, I wipe the sweat off my brow and unveil unto you my masterpiece: Every masc MTG character in DSO (dick size order). "But is it in descending or ascending order?" you ask, hungry, desperate to know. I smile, chuckle softly to myself, I'll never tell...

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Finally someone is making good magic content

[PleasantKenobi @PleasantKenobi]

Do you think Elesh Norn's arsehole is squishy moist red meat, or porcelain like bone?

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What is the sluttiest CEDH in the current meta? Does anyone have a tier list?

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The only “oath breaker” I recognise is jerking off on the first day of nofap each year

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Do phyrexians cum oil or cum, and follow up question, who would drop the biggest loads (vorinclex 🤤)?

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I wish conservatives would get over m&ms and focus on the real issues (wotc refusing to give Elesh norn nipples or a thick bush)

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*100s of pages of illegible writing surround me muttering on the floor* “Elesh-norn these nuts, no vorin-clex these cheeks, no no ura-brask them tits THERE MUST BE SOMETHING HERE”

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God gives his sexyest alt arts to his horniest soldiers

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Oh you use “recipes” aka the netdecks of the culinary world? You make me sick