Carolyn

[Carolyn @cvertin]

"I will grant you one wish"

"I've thought I lost about this and I'd just really like to *see* the way I kiss"

is what people in 1999 sounded like

[Carolyn @cvertin]

Help: I still use pens from my high school's college fair

[Carolyn @cvertin]

She's a 10 but she makes lasagna during record breaking heat waves

[michael brown @boyinquestion]

Nicole Richie really is the voice of a generation.

[Carolyn @cvertin]

That "How can we reduce deaths by guns?" answered with "Huh? People kill people with *insert another object/body part* every day!" loop is some real abbot and costello shit

[Carolyn @cvertin]

It's kind of like face blindness but specific to the Trader Joe's frozen foods isle

[Carolyn @cvertin]

Accidentally gave someone my fax number instead of my phone number like a real business woman

[Carolyn @cvertin]

A couple of weeks ago I googled "kiss me I'm not vaccinated tshirt" out of an abundance of curiosity and now I get ads like this whenever I look at the weather forecast

[Carolyn @cvertin]

"Just in case" I say to myself as I enroll into my employer's 401k plan

[Firastopher 🇵🇸 @firastopher]

“I’m tired of living through historic events”

[Carolyn @cvertin]

@emily_andy Follow up: I have since talked to other people in their 30s and they claim to not have this issue. I guess it's not everyone?!

[Carolyn @cvertin]

if you submit your taxes on 2/22/22 they GOTTA accept them

[Carolyn @cvertin]

@emily_andy Are you trying to tell me there are 30 year olds without alcohol intolerance?

[Carolyn @cvertin]

Is 31 too old to still feel proud of myself for refilling my own windshield wiper fluid?

[Carolyn @cvertin]

The type of "climate crisis actor" I aspire to be:

[Carolyn @cvertin]

Friday nights with Bobby:

"I know I've already talked about the 1870s a lot tonight but..."

[Carolyn @cvertin]

Why is "have you traveled internationally within the last 14 days?" still a screening question????

THE COVID IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!!!

[Carrie Ann @barelycarrie]

The CDC said just wear jeans and a cute top

[Carolyn @cvertin]

Marshmallows are gross, right?