douché

Goth Cowboy

[douché @cvogelschmidt]

if the state of Iowa was an object it would be a real tree edition mtn dew can

[douché @cvogelschmidt]

@Ronycoder so you can do what?

become more useless academic cannonfodder for the machine

[douché @cvogelschmidt]

at almost 30 I'm learning to not be a hater

which is why ive decided to buy a long board and start listening to Blink-182

two things ive long thought are dumb as fuck

[douché @cvogelschmidt]

spotify doesnt have my real song count because all my most listened to songs are all 240p uploads from 2007 of a wornout cassette tape that some guy mixed in his basement for a pirate radio station that only three people on an anglefire website remember

[douché @cvogelschmidt]

"The Mark of The Beast: Autistic Fitbits and the rise of RFK Jr"

[Young Thug ひ @youngthug]

S W A G = Someone Who Admires God

[douché @cvogelschmidt]

don't fuck with me

I watched taxi driver on an iPad once

[douché @cvogelschmidt]

why the fuck is my knee making noises at all?

[douché @cvogelschmidt]

why does my knee sound like chex mix?

[douché @cvogelschmidt]

y does my knee sound crunchy?

[douché @cvogelschmidt]

@rdamiani81 WATCH EXCLUSIVE STAFFER SEXTAPE ***WARNING*** ***GRAPHIC*** CONTENT!!***

...isn't all this just, a little gay?

[douché @cvogelschmidt]

senate staffer got exposed for filming a gay sextape in the Capitol but what I think is even more hilarious is that tons of conservative news sites are hosting the video

[douché @cvogelschmidt]

ITS TIME TO STEP UP AND DO YOUR PART GENTLEMEN. WATCH GAY PORN SO YOUR WIFE DOESN'T HAVE TO 🫡🦅🇺🇲

[douché @cvogelschmidt]

...and I might just decide to delete my browser history so that my wife doesn't have to witness this insult to the constitution. there are just some things women weren't meant to see.

[douché @cvogelschmidt]

I hope the people complaining about unrealistic beauty standards are not the same people drawing stuff on deviant art

[douché @cvogelschmidt]

why was I ever given this frame and this face

I have the personality of a 5'8 Irish-Italian mutt from Philly

[douché @cvogelschmidt]

when voting for president it's important to be utterly psychotic

[douché @cvogelschmidt]

your ex gf can't be worried about what you're tweeting anymore because nobody even uses Twitter haha there is no one to save you this time

[douché @cvogelschmidt]

if the Republicans are deranged and detached from reality then why does the party of "reason, science, empathy, people with Ph. D's" seem to have such a hard time making reasonable decisions in a timely manner.