Clint Woods

I’m super blue, just like Portland. Followed by Nancy Sinatra, Anne Serling and Mark Hamill eventually

[Paul Rudnick @PaulRudnickNY]

I'm holding Canada responsible for Chinese interference

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

Capitalism is so great that it has to be bailed out by socialism every 4 to 7 years

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

You think they're ever gonna admit the Epstein shit? These wockaflockas won't even admit he hired the wrong pool boy.

[James Tate @JamesTate121]

I haven't gotten a clear answer on this yet: if Democrats cheat in every election, why do we have a Republican house, senate, and white house and SCOTUS?

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

👏 WHY 👏 WON'T 👏 THESE 👏 ANTIFA 👏 TERRORISTS 👏 STOP 👏 STABBIN' 👏 THE 👏 DAMN 👏 REFLECTIN' 👏 POOL 👏 AND 👏 WHATNOT!? 👏

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

Taking a floating paint chip out of the Reflecting Pool is vandalism.

Smearing shit on the walls of the Capitol is patriotism.

Got it.

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

BREAKING: The FBI has recovered several boxes of algae starter kits from Antifa headquarters.

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

Can't be too long before there's dogfighting in the Rose Garden and whatnot.

[BigTeezy (The resistance is back est 1/20/2025) @TNSouthernlib]

Can someone who believes California is rigging elections by counting postmarked votes that arrive after election day please explain why the IRS accepts tax returns as valid as long as the postmark says April 15th?

[MP Arizona☀️🏳️‍🌈💙🌵🐕🐕‍🦺🫂💦🏜🐟🌴🎙🌎🌻♍️🌊 @AzPetrich]

FUN FACT: If you've ever used a porta-potty you've been in a gender neutral bathroom.
Happy Pride! 🏳️‍🌈

[Amelia @amelia_tweetz]

Imagine if a woman president crashed the economy and started a war with no end in sight, and her biggest, seemingly ONLY concern was building a ballroom and redecorating the White House.

[NYTPitchbot @DougJBalloon]

Trump's frequent trips to Walter Reed raise new questions about Joe Biden's health.

[The Timeless Traveler 🇺🇸 @TimelessTrvlr]

There was a 40 year period in history when samurai, pirates, and cowboys all technically existed at the same time.

[Evan @daviddunn177]

Uneducated voters are more dangerous than illegal immigrants.

[Andrea Junker @Strandjunker]

Forgive me for sounding like a broken record, but we are not a Christian nation. We are a nation where you are free to be a Christian.

Your religion guides you, not all of us. It’s as simple as that.

[The 𝗘nd 𝗝ustifies the 𝗠emes @Upsidasium]

The tariffs are up in smoke, the UFO files aren't working and the last thing Trump wants is more Epstein files out there. He may have to re-release the naked pictures of Melania.

[Barney Panofsky's Best Intentions @mynamesnotgordy]

Chin up, old chap, the DOW's at 50K!

[Jay Black @jayblackisfunny]

Republicans use the term “divisive” to refer to Barack Obama because writing “I’m a racist who never got over the fact that a black man got elected president” is too hard to type one-handed while driving a lifted Ford F-150 Raptor that they’re behind 2 payments on.

[Bricktop_NAFO @Bricktop_NAFO]

Mathematicians have calculated that Elon Musk has so much money that he could give every person on earth $834,242 US Dollars and he would still be a cunt.