dave

[Fermat's Library @fermatslibrary]

July 24, 1969

Departure from: Moon

Arrival at: Honolulu, Hawaii, USA

Cargo: Moon Rock and Moon Dust Samples

Conditions which may lead to the spread of desease: To Be Determined

Customs form that Armstrong, Aldrin and Collins had to fill when they came back from the moon.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Court Finds Ed Sheeran Did Not Violate Copyright With Song ‘I Wish I Were An Oscar Mayer Wiener’ https://t.co/tZ25eIP9cY

[Tristan Snell @TristanSnell]

Ted Cruz didn't want the voters to decide.
Ted Cruz didn't want the House to decide.
Ted Cruz didn't want the Electoral College to decide.

Ted Cruz wanted a made-up "commission" to decide who the president would be.

[Arnold Schwarzenegger @Schwarzenegger]

This is my message to anyone who has chosen the path of hate. Please listen.

[Super 70s Sports @Super70sSports]

If you’re under 30 and think LeBron James is better than Michael Jordan, you need some coaching.

If you’re over 30 and think LeBron James is better than Michael Jordan, you’re just fucking stupid.

[Jeff Tiedrich @itsJeffTiedrich]

teachers in Nazi Germany hid books to avoid being arrested. teachers in Republican Florida are hiding books to avoid being arrested. any questions

[Walter Masterson @waltermasterson]

Anti-Abortion protestors get violent when I say the quiet part out loud.

[Variety @Variety]

Eddie Murphy shares three pieces of advice for up-and-comers in the industry:

1) Pay your taxes.
2) Mind your business.
3) Keep Will Smith's wife's name out your f---ing mouth.

https://t.co/YDe7QBg9R9

[Pam Keith, Esq. @PamKeithFL]

So, because of Garland’s dithering and cowardice, the criminals who attacked our country now get investigate the law enforcement investigators.

Unbelievable. So. Incredibly. Disgusting.

[Super 70s Sports @Super70sSports]

The 80s just called and said you can’t even handle this much goddamn home computing power.

👉 https://t.co/dfcM46Uqkd

[Kurt Eichenwald @kurteichenwald]

Remember: What Republicans think is the war on Christmas is when the sales clerk at Walmart says Happy Holidays. They rage and scream, then head home to laugh and clap along with their leaders as they torture the weak and the poor. The GOP wages the *real* war on Christmas.

[Jason Selvig @jasonselvig]

I got a lot of problems with you people. And now you're gonna hear about it.

[Danny DeVito @DannyDeVito]

Love being your Christmas Danny.

[Hoodlum 🇺🇸 @NotHoodlum]

Cosplay Senator Kyrsten Sinema, started in the Green Party, ran as a Democrat - but was actually a Republican will now pretend to be Independent.

[Robert Reich @RBReich]

The CEO-to-worker pay gap is now 351-to-1. In 1965, the ratio was 21-to-1. Trickle down economics is nothing more than a cruel hoax designed to enrich bankers and wealthy executives.

[dave @da2sWd_guy]

@AndyRichter if you’re not crankin it
you’re yankin it

[Cubs Zone @CubsZone]

Thank you for everything Jason Heyward. Champion for life. 🙏🏼

[🪷 @starrstruck40]

the beatles explosive entrance on "big night out" — feb 29 1964

[Truth by Texas @TruthxTexas]

The Closing Argument from our Republican Gov Greg Abbott's Re-Election Campaign: