Demi Cimiaskaite

I got locked out of my old Twitter account for being under 13 years old

[Demi Cimiaskaite @dadademiii]

Me: *asks nate to do the dishes*
*nate opens the dishwasher to see that it’s full of clean dishes*
Nate: you set me up.

[Demi Cimiaskaite @dadademiii]

Reaching a new dog mom level today: having a mental break down sending Fletcher to doggy daycare for the first time for the weekend

[Demi Cimiaskaite @dadademiii]

Adulting is just meal planning bland burrito bowls because you don’t have a metabolism anymore and hating your life while you eat it

[Demi Cimiaskaite @dadademiii]

@nmu122 I’m pooping

[Demi Cimiaskaite @dadademiii]

Does everyone like wanna stop getting engaged thanx

[Demi Cimiaskaite @dadademiii]

It’s unbelievable how good at darts I am when I’m trashed

[𝗝𝗼𝗿𝗱𝗮𝗻 @changeisathing]

Someone tell Miley Cyrus that we need a 10 minute explicit version of 7 Things

[Demi Cimiaskaite @dadademiii]

Adele’s and Taylor Swift’s new albums come out within 2 days of each other. I’m gonna shit myself. While choking back soft sobs.

[Demi Cimiaskaite @dadademiii]

adulthood happiness is going on a work trip and opening your hotel room door to find a king bed all to yourself. thank you to every power that made this happen for me. thank you.

[Demi Cimiaskaite @dadademiii]

I would like to issue a formal apology to everyone i crop dusted at Hobby Lobby tonight

[Demi Cimiaskaite @dadademiii]

Going for a walk through the neighborhood in your pajama pants:

[Demi Cimiaskaite @dadademiii]

*me and Nate leave house, put Fletcher in the kennel, and play background music to soothe him*
Us: Alexa, play Avicii radio

[Demi Cimiaskaite @dadademiii]

Any restaurant that has fried pickles gets 5 stars in my book

[Demi Cimiaskaite @dadademiii]

Everyone’s posting their engagement/wedding/baby shower photos and I’m just out here taking pictures of my dogs lip getting stuck on his teeth

[Demi Cimiaskaite @dadademiii]

Things I had to do today: rub neosporin on my dog’s willy.
Cue the “Reba” theme song.

[Demi Cimiaskaite @dadademiii]

The innocence of a dog who doesn’t know they’re getting their balls chopped off tomorrow… unbearable.

[Demi Cimiaskaite @dadademiii]

Plz shut up

[Demi Cimiaskaite @dadademiii]

WFH pros: can crack a beer at any time
WFH cons: want to crack a beer at all times

[Demi Cimiaskaite @dadademiii]

Oh my god I’ve reached an age where I need to bring tums with me to the bar

[Demi Cimiaskaite @dadademiii]

Sometimes I just cry. And that’s on ✨gratitude✨