christiana

oh fuck

[christiana @daddydracula666]

the only reason i wanna date someone is so that i have a designated errand partner who also gives me good sex

but also can you leave me alone other than that???

[christiana @daddydracula666]

live laugh love is cringe but i think they had the right idea

[christiana @daddydracula666]

online dating is like trying to make yourself sound cool but literally all anyone actually does is go to work and masturbate in their spare time

[christiana @daddydracula666]

boiled hot dogs make me sad

[christiana @daddydracula666]

i really cherish my *do nothing for 30 minutes in the morning* time

[christiana @daddydracula666]

is it a problem that i am attracted to hot men with shitty cars?

[christiana @daddydracula666]

you didn’t believe in magic til you met me
now you believe in my delusions
so i don’t blame you for reading our coincidences as synchronicity

[christiana @daddydracula666]

there’s not much i hate more than when a product says “8 piece set” but half of the piece set is the matching item (like the lids)

like bitch now, this is a 4 piece set. don’t act fuckin dumb

[christiana @daddydracula666]

my sibling after i picked him up: i was half expecting you to text me and tell me you got sad again and didn’t wanna hangout

[christiana @daddydracula666]

it’s really hard to make good friends when you’re half way irresponsible and half way responsible

[christiana @daddydracula666]

@maxi_radd fuck you’re right my dude

[christiana @daddydracula666]

a comfy bed & taco bell is a feeling that is hard to top

[☿ @mercurialsarah]

pls i just spent so long making these i’ll put the rest down bellow 😮‍💨

[christiana @daddydracula666]

all i can remember is the light leaving your eyes

[christiana @daddydracula666]

@_rae_bird i bet it will! but i know it just sucks rn.

[christiana @daddydracula666]

@_rae_bird i’m so sorry 😞 i know that must be hard. has it gotten any better recently?

[christiana @daddydracula666]

@_rae_bird what’s going on? ♥️♥️

[christiana @daddydracula666]

nothing like a spicy diet coke to help you get over a hangover

[christiana @daddydracula666]

honestly? don’t want me. don’t need me. i ain’t got it