andrewphorowitz

[andrewphorowitz @dadfor1]

@AbbottKahler How do you truly savor a hot dog? With relish

[andrewphorowitz @dadfor1]

@AbbottKahler Why are butchers so hilarious? They always ham it up

[andrewphorowitz @dadfor1]

@AbbottKahler 16. What is the best tool in the ocean?
A hammerhead shark

[andrewphorowitz @dadfor1]

@GuntherEagleman Ford

[andrewphorowitz @dadfor1]

@AbbottKahler 18. What fish costs the most?
A goldfish

[andrewphorowitz @dadfor1]

@SalmanRushdie may I send book to be signed

[andrewphorowitz @dadfor1]

@AbbottKahler 2. A lawyer told a judge, “My client is trapped inside a penny.” The judge said, “What?” The lawyer said, “He’s in a cent

[andrewphorowitz @dadfor1]

@AbbottKahler 12. Why don’t fish play football?
Because they’re scared of nets

[andrewphorowitz @dadfor1]

@AbbottKahler How did the pharaoh feel after a long day of ruling

Tut-erly exhausted

[andrewphorowitz @dadfor1]

@AbbottKahler 1What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
“You can count on me

[andrewphorowitz @dadfor1]

Instead of happy memorial day lets start saying have a reflective memorial day

[andrewphorowitz @dadfor1]

@AbbottKahler Have a reflective memorial day

[andrewphorowitz @dadfor1]

@AbbottKahler 1What did the evaporating raindrop say?
“I’m going to pieces.

[andrewphorowitz @dadfor1]

@AbbottKahler 22. What do ducks use for solving problems?
A QUACKulator

[andrewphorowitz @dadfor1]

@AbbottKahler 4. You know what seems odd to me?
Numbers that can’t be divided by two

[andrewphorowitz @dadfor1]

@AbbottKahler 11. Three transitive verbs walk into a bar.
They sit. They drink. They leave

[andrewphorowitz @dadfor1]

@AbbottKahler What’s a heart’s favorite type of exercise? Cardio

[andrewphorowitz @dadfor1]

@AbbottKahler 18. What can children catch but not throw?
Cold

[andrewphorowitz @dadfor1]

@AbbottKahler What do you get when you cross a teacher with a vampire?
Lots of blood tests

[andrewphorowitz @dadfor1]

@AbbottKahler What do you call a ruler, a protractor, and a compass all hanging out together? Weapons of math instruction