Matt Dahlberg

keg thrower, beer seller, terrible father

[Matt Dahlberg @dahlberg617]

A @NASA advertisement made by Maddie Lee, age 8. #NASA # space

[🎙️Not Another Sox Podcast🎙️ @NASPpodcast]

Hiding hotdogs up my sleeve into Fenway to respect the worker’s strike

[Matt Dahlberg @dahlberg617]

@WhiteR91722 @harryjsisson “This has nothing to do with trump btw”
*shares link with first words “trumps parade”

[Matt Dahlberg @dahlberg617]

@VegasIsMyBitchh Gotta be careful with the unders with the weather getting better

[Matt Dahlberg @dahlberg617]

Every so often I Google something like “how to hide a dead body” from my wife’s phone, just to have it in her search history in case she ever kills me #happywife #Married #murder #tostitos

[Matt Dahlberg @dahlberg617]

@ChewieCatt We’re on the east coast.

What’s NPC? (I’m doing my best to be a cool dad but I don’t know a lot of this stuff)

[Matt Dahlberg @dahlberg617]

@ChewieCatt any chance you’ll be performing PAXeast this year??

I know it’s early, but my son HAS to see you perform

[Matt Dahlberg @dahlberg617]

It’s the kid, I can’t wait for awkward

@ChewieCatt

[Matt Dahlberg @dahlberg617]

@ChewieCatt is my sons favorite singer, so he made him into a Pokémon card. #chewiecatt

[Matt Dahlberg @dahlberg617]

@tgt6617 No need for the name at all in that tweet

[Matt Dahlberg @dahlberg617]

U know you’ve worked retail/customer service too much, I’m watching the purge and all I can think of is how bad I feel for the people working the emergency room the next day #thepurge #purge #antiwork #tostitos

[Matt Dahlberg @dahlberg617]

I followed @kylekinane on some thing to get a heads up when he comes to Boston so I can get tickets. “Fart sound effects “ is an artist I may like since I like Kyle kinane.

[Hoodlum 🇺🇸 @NotHoodlum]

▪️It’s a hoax.

▪️Don’t be sheep.

▪️Prayers needed.

▪️Visit our GoFundMe.

[Matt Dahlberg @dahlberg617]

F Ed FCC dxklykiyy to ruining

[Matt Dahlberg @dahlberg617]

Got my tickets to see @kylekinane in Boston. Last time I saw him, he invited everyone to go to the bar next door and drink with him after the show. I was too drunk and the bouncer wouldn’t let me in. It will probably happen again. #bestcomedian #tostitos

[COMBOS @Combos]

Nothing disappoints like stopping on a road trip and releasing they don't have 'BOS.

[Matt Dahlberg @dahlberg617]

@stoolpresidente Buy before the 28th. Sell on the 28th.

[Matt Dahlberg @dahlberg617]

@stoolpresidente @vladtenev Time to prove if you’re really still for the common man, rip em a new one.

[Matt Dahlberg @dahlberg617]

@FedEx I ordered flowers like a month ago to be over night delivered on Friday for Valentine’s Day today, still no sign of them. You guys are literally horrible and should delete this tweet.

[Matt Dahlberg @dahlberg617]

@FedExHelp @KelseyRussel At least they delivered yours, I’m still waiting on mine