Shit Danni Says

[Shit Danni Says @dailydannif]

You want to get paid in money, I want to get paid in Chinese food. We are not the same

[Shit Danni Says @dailydannif]

You smell like a four seasons hotel room

[Shit Danni Says @dailydannif]

New York makes me want to have an anyeurism on purpose

[Shit Danni Says @dailydannif]

*googles* this is very triggering for me

[Shit Danni Says @dailydannif]

I’ve been waiting an hour and a half for this g o d. d a m n. p a s t a.

[Shit Danni Says @dailydannif]

Who gets bubblegum flavored bubblegum ?

[Shit Danni Says @dailydannif]

Does anyone have a power drill so I can just insert it into my temple

[Shit Danni Says @dailydannif]

Christmas Eve? More like Christmas Heave because I wanna throw up right now

[Shit Danni Says @dailydannif]

I hated the movies when I was little. My sister missed out on seeing Peter Pan 2: Return to Neverland because of me. Too loud. Too dark. Too big.

[Shit Danni Says @dailydannif]

I love cruise control. It’s like owning a cheap Tesla

[Shit Danni Says @dailydannif]

#shesbackbitches

[Shit Danni Says @dailydannif]

I wasn’t going to get another glass of wine until My Humps by Fergie came on

[Shit Danni Says @dailydannif]

I'm just mad that I got hit on by a guy with a stoma

[Shit Danni Says @dailydannif]

Does every girl singer sound like Gwen Stefani when you're drunk or is it just me

[Shit Danni Says @dailydannif]

The only reason I socialize with people is to get Instagram likes

[Shit Danni Says @dailydannif]

Lamination train doesn't stop til it gets to the lamination station

[Shit Danni Says @dailydannif]

Lamination nation

[Shit Danni Says @dailydannif]

If anyone wants to be a potato sack for Halloween I have really good references

[Shit Danni Says @dailydannif]

Laminate? More like lami-yay

[Shit Danni Says @dailydannif]

I used my noggin today. It went well. It doesn't always go well but today it did