The Daily Misinformer

A satire account.

[The Daily Misinformer @DailyMisinform]

Uber is launching a dedicated advertising division, in which customers will see targeted ads before and during their rides. Odd, my rides already include ads for my drivers’ horrible soundcloud rapping.

[The Daily Misinformer @DailyMisinform]

The amount of methane in the atmosphere is racing ahead at an accelerating pace, threatening to undermine efforts to slow climate change. So stop farting and put your butt plug back in.

[The Daily Misinformer @DailyMisinform]

A law allowing people to carry handguns without a license in Texas has led to more spontaneous shootings, prompting experts on gun violence to say “yeah fucking duh.”

[The Daily Misinformer @DailyMisinform]

Kanye West was escorted out of the headquarters of Skechers shoes after he showed up unannounced and uninvited. Marking the first time Skechers didn’t take advantage of a desperate man and sell him trash shoes.

[The Daily Misinformer @DailyMisinform]

An Indonesian woman working on a rubber plantation was killed and swallowed whole by a 22-foot long python. And let me take this opportunity to say, from the bottom of my pants, my penis is sorry.

[The Daily Misinformer @DailyMisinform]

Months after New Jersey banned all single-use grocery bags, customers are stealing plastic hand baskets instead. Not to carry their groceries, just for fun. Stealing is fun!

[The Daily Misinformer @DailyMisinform]

A California school district has urged parents to host teachers in their homes, as low wages have caused a teacher shortage, saying "They already babysit your kids at school, why not at home? You can work a night job!"

[The Daily Misinformer @DailyMisinform]

JK Rowling's book The Ink Black Heart has drawn criticism because it is about a transphobe who overcomes internet backlash to continue being a transphobe. The only relatable part of the book is when she's visited by a half giant with a beard who says: "You're a bigot, Rowling."

[The Daily Misinformer @DailyMisinform]

A Canadian jeweler is making custom "jizz jewelry" out of dehydrated semen mixed with clay. Ok cool but I don't need that, I already gave my wife a pearl necklace.

[The Daily Misinformer @DailyMisinform]

Chris Dawson, who was arrested in 2018 after the true-crime podcast “The Teacher’s Pet” indicated he was complicit in his wife's 1982 death, was found guilty of her murder. Now he's going to be more of a "Horace from cell block B's Pet"

[The Daily Misinformer @DailyMisinform]

Stinking piles of garbage on the streets of Edinburgh are threatening the health and safety of the public in Scotland. But I for one don't think it's appropriate to call Scottish people garbage.

[The Daily Misinformer @DailyMisinform]

The ashes of Nichelle Nichols, who played Lieutenant Uhura in the original “Star Trek” television series and died in July, will be launched into space later this year. Probably not exactly what she meant by 'beam me up scotty'

[The Daily Misinformer @DailyMisinform]

Senator Lindsey Graham predicted that a prosecution of Trump would lead to “riots in the streets,” although he later said he was “not calling for violence.” Just predicting it in a way that would encourage people to do it. And that's different.

[The Daily Misinformer @DailyMisinform]

We talk airplane trash this week with @trashytrashypod . We think Illan Omar is right and we ask what if WAP was playing instead?

[The Daily Misinformer @DailyMisinform]

Ukrainian President Volodomyr Zelensky says 2 generals who turned out to be traitors were stripped of their rank. Which is weird, because in America, traitors get to run for president again. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏽’ https://t.co/rpo1sGV0J8

[Occupy Democrats @OccupyDemocrats]

BREAKING: Attorney General Merrick Garland announces that he’s prepared to prosecute Trump and every Republican who tried to steal Biden’s win by stopping the “peaceful transfer of power” because he won’t avoid “politically sensitive cases.” RT IF YOU THINK THIS IS GREAT NEWS!

[The Daily Misinformer @DailyMisinform]

As @DailyMisinform ‘s resident Philly expert, #WillSmith slapping #ChrisRock on live TV is the most Philly reaction one can have to someone insulting your girl. #Oscars2022

[The Daily Misinformer @DailyMisinform]

New podcast out now! @halrudnick joins @adamrmac @heredia_paul and @KristenMScatton to discuss the #ghostofkyiv , dueling conservative conferences, and stinky comedians! https://t.co/qZIIR0mc2w

[The Daily Misinformer @DailyMisinform]

@C0ffeeAfterDark @EzraParter @prodvdrivn @jockdocpodcast @LesterPipps Hey thank you so much!!