Damien

[The Halfway Post @HalfwayPost]

BREAKING: A reporter asked Mike Johnson at a press conference today, “Should we bother asking you any questions about Trump reigniting his illegal Iran War without any Constitutionally mandatory Congressional deliberation and authorization... or have you not heard about it yet?"

[•🦋• @Oreos_iam]

Scratching a bug bite is like evil masturbation

[Damien @DamienBuzzell]

@JONESY4014 @ProjectLincoln Clanker

[Uzi @UziCryptoo]

I’LL SAY IT AGAIN:

If your job requires a college degree, you should be able to write off your student loan payments as a business expense the way CEOs write off their private jets and yachts for their jobs which require neither.

[Plus EV Analytics @PlusEVAnalytics]

FIFA: "no of course this was not political interference, we would never allow such a thing"
Trump: "it was all me. I interfered. Politically."

Spectacular.

[Bilyamin..🦅🇳🇬 @nigerianpapi_ng]

@_coldbloom taxpayer-funded security guard telling taxpayers they can’t enjoy public land because a millionaire lives nearby. america

[Taylor Lorenz @TaylorLorenz]

Reminder there is no such thing as “banning social media for under 16s” what they’re referring to is the total and complete removal of anonymous internet use, something Dems have been trying for yrs. This would have devastating human rights consequences and do zero for children

[uke creature🇵🇸🚩 @UkeCreature]

when you slip a little in the shower and you know you died in your original reality but the quantum immortality kicked in so it's chill

[Prem Thakker @prem_thakker]

Oh ya for sure dude imagine a system like that

[Melanie D'Arrigo @DarrigoMelanie]

We're at the "I'm can just freely admit to crimes now because no one is going to stop me," phase.

[Matt Binder @MattBinder]

this guy is the co-founder of Airbnb

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

Why is it ‘cancelled’ in the U.K. but ‘canceled’ in the U.S.?

Because we gave them that L in 1776.

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

They made Jimmy Carter sell his peanut farm

[Melanie D'Arrigo @DarrigoMelanie]

Zero. Undocumented immigrants aren’t allowed to register to vote.

The Heritage Foundation stated there were only 77 cases of non-citizens successfully casting ballots over the last 25 years.

Republicans are spreading bigoted lies to pass voter suppression laws.

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

If you had told me 10 years ago that a billionaire would accuse humans of drinking too much water in 2026 because data centres need it to power the AI tech that is now threatening our entire way of life, I would have told you to write a better Bond villain, because wtf?

[The Rayo Kasali™ @RayoKasali]

@memecrashes Ragebait aside, it's called motion parallax. Nearby trees rush past because your viewpoint changes quickly. Distant objects shift very little, making them appear still.

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Unless I’m working in an ER, working as a paramedic, or working as a firefighter, there’s no reason I should be expected to “thrive in a fast-paced, high-pressure environment.” Just fix the terrible management and stop running your office like a circus.

[le.hl @0xleegenz]

Netanyahu to Lebanon every time the war seems to be over without his approval

[Boston Smalls @smalls2672]

Bahahaha omg man. WE ARE SO COOKED.