Dana

I'm not that funny.

[Dana @danasums]

Working 60 hours a week just so I can support my unemployed housemates, a.k.a. my two cats.

[Dana @danasums]

Republicans will make you do this before you use the bathroom.

[The Figen @TheFigen_]

There are some things that only women can do. 😂😂

[Dana @danasums]

I picked the wrong time to start watching The Handmaid’s Tale…

[Dana @danasums]

My baby in my stomach at 3am

[Dana @danasums]

The bass in that one black eyed peas song

[Dana @danasums]

Honestly, I’ve had the Panera lemonade and I was fine. Sure my body shivered uncontrollably for an hour then I slept for 2 days but it was pretty good.

[Dana @danasums]

Catherine O'Hara plays a better mom in Schitt’s Creek than in Home Alone. Kevin McCallister did not deserve all that emotional abuse and neglect.

[Dana @danasums]

My husband when I ask for green tea after 4pm:

“Woah you going to a party later?”

[Dana @danasums]

🎶 I’m in the corner watching you strike out ooooooohhhh 🎶

[Dana @danasums]

These TikTok ads are getting a little too personal. Just saw a snoopy eras tour sweatshirt.

[Dana @danasums]

How do pitchers throw like 90mph balls 100 times and I can’t even lift my arm above my head without feeling pain

[Dana @danasums]

Every time my husband finishes a house project our zestimate goes up. Are they watching us?? Where are they hiding??

[Dana @danasums]

@husseyjared

[Dana @danasums]

Tired of my dog being excluded because she’s a big bitch.

BIG DOGS DESERVE CUTE OUTFITS AND COLLARS TOO!

[Dana @danasums]

David Attenborough or bust ✊

[Dana @danasums]

That motherfucker is NOT REAL

[New Jersey @NJGov]

Jersey beaches from a different POV 🚁

Happy National Beach Day to the Jersey Shore 🏖️

📸 Claudia Chloe

[Dana @danasums]

Probably one of the most niche things ever said.

#taylorswift
#tomaskalnoky
#streetlightmanifesto

[Saul Goodman ⚖ @itsSaulGoodman]

Breaking Bad fans watching Oppenheimer and hear "Heisenberg"

[Rob @thegallowboob]

only bird people will get this

[Dana @danasums]

Give me one margarita and I’ll answer the phone

Give me two margaritas and I’ll schedule a doctor’s appointment

Give me three margaritas and I’ll tell the waiter my order’s wrong