Dane Durrant

you may not be able to process the entirety of my incredible sense of humor or my insanely sexy body, but that's your problem.

[Dane Durrant @dane_durrant]

@DurrantGeorge @DurrantMark I got like 5 bucks i think in my wallet, is that enough?

[Dane Durrant @dane_durrant]

It's been 3 years, I still want a sword.

[Dane Durrant @dane_durrant]

I got some financial advice the other day: before you buy something, think about it for 24 hours.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still want a sword.

[Dane Durrant @dane_durrant]

@kedrickblack @DurrantMark I've been thinking of doing something like that, but I haven't researched it too much, and I don't know how much people would be interested.

[Dane Durrant @dane_durrant]

Maybe this is a controversial tweet nowadays, but I don't think anyone's voice should be taken away.

[Dane Durrant @dane_durrant]

My dreams have the graphics and control schemes of a drunk man playing a virtual reality game.

[Dane Durrant @dane_durrant]

@rylzlewis And don't you forget it

[Dane Durrant @dane_durrant]

@aubreytnn I would be on board, but it reminds me too much of Lynyrd Skynyrd, and although I don't have any quarrel with Skynyrd, I don't want to think of them when I look at any sort of flesh.

[Dane Durrant @dane_durrant]

If any of you haven't seen shark boy and lava girl, you are missing out on something special.

[Dane Durrant @dane_durrant]

@realDonaldTrump DUN DUN

[Dane Durrant @dane_durrant]

@GennySpenny @DurrantGeorge No matter how hard I try, I cannot forget the tragedy that happened today.

[Dane Durrant @dane_durrant]

@vintagehols One of these has to be jon hamm right?

[Dane Durrant @dane_durrant]

@DurrantMark "Hmm, that one guy with the guitar was pretty insufferable. Can we get like 20 more of them that replace themselves if they get booted?"

[Dane Durrant @dane_durrant]

@DurrantMark Can we get a hair swap with @DurrantMark and @gregwrubell

[Ben Schwartz @rejectedjokes]

Remember haircuts?

[Dane Durrant @dane_durrant]

@SteveMartinToGo Steve Martin it's truly a blessing during this virus

[SparkNotes @SparkNotes]

Tips for working from home: Get dressed. Keep a dedicated work space. Wear a mask. Demand that box 5 be left empty. Abduct your singing protégée. Threaten to destroy the opera house. Set clear goals. Don't forget to take breaks.

[Dane Durrant @dane_durrant]

@peta Im honestly confused as to whom the heck peta is trying to apply to, because it's definitely not to the upcoming generation.

[Dane Durrant @dane_durrant]

Don't know if anyone's done this but...

[Dane Durrant @dane_durrant]

@rejectedjokes That's where all of it went!

[Ben Schwartz @rejectedjokes]

What started as a gag birthday gift from my sister has turned into my greatest treasure.