Captain McTweety

Dad, artist, writer of delightful ditties. Created Twitter acct 2009, Twitter nuked it. I'd be sadder if I didn't hate Twitter. I once made Rush Limbaugh laugh.

[Captain McTweety @dangeronion1]

“Pro-life men need to shut up, since they’ll never have to deal with this horrible thing happening to their bodies.”

By the same logic, all pro-choice people need to shut up, since they’ll never have to deal with being aborted.

[Captain McTweety @dangeronion1]

@cactusncookies Space America

[Captain McTweety @dangeronion1]

@Alec_Zeck Gonna have to show your work on this one. I've never seen the right hold someone blameless because of psych drugs. Nice straw-man, though.

[Captain McTweety @dangeronion1]

@JannaPart2 Excellent question. I've been saying this for quite a while.
https://t.co/sA3vtqvlYv

[Captain McTweety @dangeronion1]

@Bossy_Leah If the one difference had been that she killed someone else's kids in her psychosis, would anyone be defending her?

People are sick and stupid.

[Alice Smith @TheAliceSmith]

You weren’t stupid enough to believe abortion would stop at the unborn, were you?

[Captain McTweety @dangeronion1]

Gee, it's almost like that "slippery slope" thing the pro-life side was ridiculed for over the last 50 years actually exists

[Madison @Maddytx76]

Democrats now support abortion up to 6 years old.

[Captain McTweety @dangeronion1]

@ebeth360 @Qburt_ You really think this is a winner angle, huh? "The prosecutors were WOMEN!" Umm...

[Captain McTweety @dangeronion1]

@ebeth360 @DawnCarney8500 Wow, I didn't realize it was all women doing the prosecuting. No wonder it failed.

[Captain McTweety @dangeronion1]

@Tom39590826 @spreadthelove7 "As a man..." Wait, wait, stop right there

[Captain McTweety @dangeronion1]

How “Baby I Need Your Lovin” got stuck in my head today

Thought 1:
“Surely not all 9 of the female jurors are retarded, right?”

Thought 2:
“I like to think it isn’t even the majority of them.”

Thought 3:
“Surely it’s 4, tops.”

And here we are.

[Captain McTweety @dangeronion1]

@SenseiOfSarcasm Too easy

[Captain McTweety @dangeronion1]

@GenXRetail @PoliticalStacy I came here to say this. I assume there's a percentage of gay men who enjoy watching male cheerleaders. But the overlap of that small percentage and the small percentage who like watching football has to be ridiculously tiny.

[Captain McTweety @dangeronion1]

I didn't know there was such a thing as "choke porn", but apparently some people are starting to wonder if it's good to expose kids to it. Awesome. Who says Western civilization is doomed? Take heart! Calls are growing for a choke porn ban!

[Captain McTweety @dangeronion1]

@snowydaze2020 @JJellyGames @sappholives83 Thank you. I'm glad you agree. 👍

[Captain McTweety @dangeronion1]

@REMASCULATE A small farm, with a little farmer guy tilling the soil and whistling a happy farmer tune. What the heck do I do now? I don't have time to deal with this.

[Captain McTweety @dangeronion1]

"But equal rights come with equal wrongs."
Holy crap, that's a good line.

[Steve Mudflap McGrew’s REMASCULATE podcast @REMASCULATE]

If Lindsay Clancy is found innocent because hormones made her emotionally unstable, women better be very careful celebrating that verdict.

Because the law loves PRECEDENT.

From that day forward, every job application is going to have a new question:

“Are you currently hormonal?”

“Well, I’m a woman.”

“Thank you. I think we’ll be going in another direction.”

You can’t carry a weapon anymore. No female police officers. Sorry, but we cannot hand a loaded gun to somebody whose legal defense might eventually be, “My hormones were acting up.”

No more high-stress jobs, either. No air-traffic controllers. No surgeons. No nuclear-launch codes. One bad hot flash and boom 💥 Canada is glowing.

And women definitely can’t be judges. How can you decide whether somebody else is emotionally stable when your own gender just established in court that hormones can make you kill three people?

No female politicians, either. You can’t be trusted to run the country if, according to your own argument, your endocrine system occasionally takes over the government.

And custody hearings are going to change overnight.

The judge will say, “Ordinarily, children belong with their mother. However, according to the Lindsay Clancy precedent, she may be only one hormone away from a Netflix documentary. The children go with Dad.”

Dad doesn’t know their shoe sizes, the pediatrician’s name or which one is allergic to peanuts, but his testosterone has never been successfully used as an insanity defense.

Feminists spent a hundred years saying women are not hysterical, irrational creatures controlled by their biology and one defense attorney walks into court and says, “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury… have you considered the uterus?”

You cannot demand equal authority and then ask for discounted accountability.

If women want equal rights, great. But equal rights come with equal wrongs.
Otherwise, that glass ceiling is about to become a padded ceiling.

[Captain McTweety @dangeronion1]

@snowydaze2020 @JJellyGames @sappholives83 Your 90% stat is probably accurate, but the fact that 0% of men support those men seems relevant. Men want those men executed. Your last statement is silly. The main goal is to punish murderers.

[Captain McTweety @dangeronion1]

@Chizitere_xyz This is true, and it kind of touched my heart, but it's not something men ever think about. Men just don't focus on stuff like this. It's one of the reasons we need women.

[Captain McTweety @dangeronion1]

@JustineBateman So basically you're saying she should be mature. That's a tall order these days.

[Nursekate @Nursekatejohn]

Sometime I think back to who I was before I had kids. I didn’t really want to have kids. I was the career girl. The travel girl. The host the parties girl.

If I could go back I would tell myself one thing:

You won’t miss any of this.

But once you have kids, you will spend the rest of your life missing every version of who they were.
You will miss the newborn sounds.
You will miss the crawling.
You will miss rocking them to sleep.
You will even miss the crying and the mess.
Every old photo you see will make you long for a version of them that will never exist again, because they are life.

Of course it is hard. But it is the best kind of hard.

[Cernovich @Cernovich]

America is falling because we welcomed people from impoverished and dysfunctional countries, they got a better life, and then they hate us for it and want some bizarre ethnic revenge. What a tragic way to lose your home. By being kind. Something has to be done.