Girth Brooks

the smoothest brain in the west ✨ drums for @tigerstyleuk

[John Wicker Park @phonybone]

It’s anti art when your girlfriend goes to the bathroom during a movie you like and says you don’t have to pause it

[Florida woman @stephanicci]

You can spice up a date by crying and telling everyone around you that you are being kidnapped

[Tom Jamieson @jamiesont]

Keir Starmer has been a disappointment, but anyone calling him 'Britain's Worst Ever Prime Minister' in a world where Liz Truss & Boris Johnson exist must have been kicked in the head by a horse

[Johanna Saunders 🕷🐇 @JohannaSaunders]

The UK voted the Tories out of office with a vengeance after more than a decade of mismanagement, corruption and scandals, so naturally the UK then opts to vote them all back into power again, under a different name, alongside the architect of the UKs decline via Brexit.
FFS.

[Michael Walsh @thatbloodyMikey]

I don't care what your political Leaning is, If you're out here defending a Politicians right to be paid a £100,000 a year, to get pissed on Subsidised Cocktails before going to Vote against your interests & rights, you are the epitome of a back broken, peasant-brained Serf.

[fag daughter🐦‍⬛𓅨 @fag_daughter]

open the gun ranges, open the shooting galleries, america's children can't shoot for shit

[Skurt Vonnegut @ThisLocalHater]

"Fast and Furious!" I scream and immediately back into a pole in the Taco Bell parking lot, totaling my Ford Focus

[Girth Brooks @dangraley]

Hate that my local venue keeps putting out chat GPT generated posters for tribute bands

[Uncle Benzo (Reborn) @SobrietyField]

Just had a fart that came out ice cold

[e l l a 🇨🇦 @blondehotcoffee]

if charlie kirk had the same neck as that guy from 90 day fiancé he would still be alive

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

Charlie Kirk memorial pez dispenser would go hard

[ali @probablyalissa]

20 years of Neil banging out the tunes

[via @atrophicbtrfly]

monkey themed smoke shop called Planet of the Vapes

[aspen ✨ @aspenn_colorado]

i dropped my 9 euro stroopwaffel on the ground in the amsterdam airport and a little dutch boy with no parent in sight ran up to me and did the griddy over it and ran away yelling something in his maniacal elvish language while pointing and laughing at me happy friday

[dan @growupdan]

Glad Ramadan is over, fed up of Muslims randomly pushing in to me

[𝐃𝐈𝐆𝐁 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @_DIGB]

If Dubai gets nuked crushed velvet furniture stores will go into administration

[Dr. Simon @goddek]

🚨BREAKING – Prince Andrew has just been arrested.

[⊹₊˚ 𝓻𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 .ᐟ @horrormusicals]

ringo starr enters the black lodge. he meets wrongo

[Gwdihŵ 🦉 @youwouldknow]

Very funny however that even cartoonishly evil mega-paedo Epstein considered Elon too annoying to invite to his parties