Ovechkin finally wins it. His brain is gonna be a boat in a Smirnoff ocean tonight. I guarantee his balls end up in the cup somehow, he might throw that cup on red and try to win 2 of them if he’s drunk enough. That cup is gonna wake up with so many ass cheek prints on it. Wow.
ME: Joe, about halfway through the speech, I’m gonna wish you a happy birth--
BIDEN: IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!
ME: Joe.
Happy birthday to @JoeBiden, my brother and the best vice president anybody could have.