dani ❕

a little ghost trying to find her way outta here.

she/her

[dani ❕ @danipaniq]

Kind of fucked up that the Official Lizzie McGuire Flash Talk (2003) commercial is most likely lost media.

[dani ❕ @danipaniq]

@dearmdelaney fuck fernando all my homies hate fernando

[jizzlane maxxxwell @dankcharnley]

your password must contain a character... with a tragic backstory

[dani ❕ @danipaniq]

Whenever I think of guys who are desperate for pussy, I immediately think of the roommate of one of my friends who had the fucking Mona Lisa as a poster over his bed. Never even met the guy, but like. Jesus Christ dude.

[dani ❕ @danipaniq]

1990s shitbox life is so nice because when you get into accidents you don't immediately Panic about cosmetic damage etc.

[dani ❕ @danipaniq]

Wild to have rear-ended someone going like... Kind of fast and like?? Have so little damage?? Have also decided to play the "who notices first" game at work- as a fun Experiment.

[dani ❕ @danipaniq]

-- knocks down things off of surfaces but ONLY if they're in "his spot" on said surface
-- uses his paws to wipe up all the extra food on his placemat when he's done eating
-- ALWAYS has to sprint up the stairs
-- attacks my shoes when I tie them
-- yells at us when it's bedtime

[dani ❕ @danipaniq]

Silly Things Brutus Does:
-- follows me around the house 80% of the time
-- if he's not actively following me and I whistle, he will come SPRINTING
-- makes a clear point to go through his tunnels as much as possible
-- sits on any square thing that happens to be on the floor

[dani ❕ @danipaniq]

Dead ass may as well have spat at whatever entity they were trying to do the ritual for imo- oh, let me just take all this time and material to perform a complex ritual and then discard all the items involved not only as trash, but trash which is polluting a natural area. Perf.

[dani ❕ @danipaniq]

Additionally, I don't know who needs to hear this but if you're going to perform some form of ritual and then litter your collection of bloody bowls, voodoo dolls, cauldrons, etc. in the middle of a park, maybe you should revisit how you perform your fucking craft.

[dani ❕ @danipaniq]

I don't know who needs to hear this but stop doing your ritual sacrifices at Bear Mountain State Park

[rax ‘levon honkers’ king @RaxKingIsDead]

i want to be exactly rich enough to buy a spacious, perfectly organized kitchen, where i’m not forced to stack all my pots and pans in a psychologically unmanageable way. and no richer

[dani ❕ @danipaniq]

Update: I spent $50 on cookies the only regret I have is not buying more of the double chocolate ones.

[dani ❕ @danipaniq]

I can't even get a dozen of them rn bc it's Christmas so you can ONLY get preset assortments and like I get that but also I'm devastated that I have to wait until like January to pay like $40 for 2 dozen cookies.

[dani ❕ @danipaniq]

I'm actually Legally Obligated to get a rubber duck every single time I see one of these machines.

[dani ❕ @danipaniq]

Shouts out to Brutus fr

[dani ❕ @danipaniq]

As it turns out, making a Super Deluxe lick mat for a cat that loves you and follows you everywhere really helps you get through the day when you have medication resistant super depression. Who knew.

[dani ❕ @danipaniq]

Man who has done nothing but take from you, upon being told "no" for the first time:

"You're actually the most selfish person I've ever met in my entire life"

[dani ❕ @danipaniq]

I don't know how better to express this but I have no intention of interacting with people who I know are actively worsening the lives of those who are close to me and I ESPECIALLY am not trying to support their ability to continue doing so.

[dani ❕ @danipaniq]

You know now that I've been full-fledged experiencing the flu for about 3 days, I can kind of understand how motherfuckers used to die from this shit.

[isaac @i_exsilium]

Is it a manic episode or are we just so back?