Dsquared

Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret...I need a tampon.

[Dsquared @danisomething]

Easy, greasy, beautiful, Covergirl.

[Dsquared @danisomething]

Q: What do you call a broken cross?
A: A crucifixer upper.

[Dsquared @danisomething]

Same.

[N @dearvotion]

just fell down to my knees

[Dsquared @danisomething]

@curtofranklin WHAT?! This is the dumbest hott take ever. 👎👎

[erika @yeeeerika]

every olympics i turn into this guy

[Grace @graceyldn]

Me watching this horse travel down the Seine for 5 hours #OpeningCeremony #OlympicGames

[Dsquared @danisomething]

Oh la la HELL yeah

[Dsquared @danisomething]

Salad shooter? I hardly know her

[Dsquared @danisomething]

@Essa_Dee The little squeaks and tiny face are too much🪦

[Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom]

Gardening seems so relaxing until you try it and realize it’s grueling, filthy, buggy, disappointing, you’re terrible at it, and nature hates you. But alas, here you are again, you delusional fool, elbow deep in spring dirt, declaring “I think this is my year for pumpkins.”

[Dsquared @danisomething]

You know there’s 3 kinds of turds—mustard, custard, and you, you little shit.

[Dsquared @danisomething]

I like my face like I like my decimal systems. Dewey.

[Dsquared @danisomething]

I’m a hoe for a good appetizer…a real whore d’oeuvre you might say. 🥁

[Dsquared @danisomething]

Q: What do you call an herb that’s slowly disappearing? 🌱

A: Tarragoing, tarragoing… Tarragon!

[Dsquared @danisomething]

@AdamRedrum Guess I should’ve included that. This whole joke is RUINED.

[Dsquared @danisomething]

@AdamRedrum It’s to season of the sticks by Noah kahan. Can’t believe you haven’t heard it.

[Dsquared @danisomething]

I hardly know her!

[Dsquared @danisomething]

@melissaa13 Oh & take some deodorant with you bc they make you wipe off any perfume and/or deo beforehand

[Dsquared @danisomething]

@melissaa13 Lol idk if this is rhetorical, but I’ve been getting them for the last 8 years & you can just wear whatever you normally would. They’ll give you one of those fun little open-in-the-front gowns to wear for the actual mammogram.😑

[lucy ford 🍊 @lucyj_ford]

can’t stop watching this aggressively french reaction to a cat stealing some quiche 😭 “MA QUICHE”