Dan Polish Last Name

Jokes on the web. I RT a lot of funny things. Big hit with moms.

[Dan Polish Last Name @danjan13]

Lunch! Let's see what mom packed. Hope it's not just a note that says I'm a punk ass buster. Ok it is that note again tomorrow is a new day.

[pj @pjayevans]

Learning minion language on Duolingo while my girl friend prepares to host thanksgiving for 48 people

[ClickHole @ClickHole]

Morgan Freeman said WHAT?!

[𝕡𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕡𝕙𝕠𝕣 𝕘𝕝𝕠𝕨 @phosphor_glow]

are you showering correctly?

[maybe: diane 𐚁₊⊹ @dianelyssa]

you know john travolta?

[Stephen A Smith @stephenasmith]

The Stephen A. Smith Show on 710 ESPN LA comes on 9-11 pm Tonight. We will NOT discuss Kobe Bryant. We will, however, discuss the homosexual

[Dan Polish Last Name @danjan13]

@googleymoogley Inflatable toilet

[bella horne @neutralcowboy]

Real reason men can open jars is they never moisturize their hands. when I’m done with after shower slime time I can barely turn a door knob

[Jay @iHad2GoGetit]

If a regular crackhead did this on a corner y’all would call the police.

[Forrest Cardamenis @FCardamenis]

Baby has gotten good at identifying “dada” but still struggling with surrealism, cubism, even baroque.

[Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz]

I worry that Wembanyama will get caught up in the distractions of New York City, like the Rose Reading Room at the public library or the upcoming conference on participatory futures at The New School

[Dan Polish Last Name @danjan13]

Exactly. The Sheep Detectives should be number one. None of the other films have sheep detecting at all.

[Wolfman's Got Nards @WolfmansGotNard]

Not only did Obsession release a week before Star Wars, but it's showing in 1700 less screens and it's STILL beating it.

I've never seen anything like this.

[Dan Polish Last Name @danjan13]

@MrMichaelRose Some have been too afraid to say

[jake rhodes @jakebrodes]

No fatsos or short stacks. No travel reimbursements. High and tights or Brad Pitts haircut from Fury that’s it. Plump butt cheeks and thick pipes a must. Big balls a plus.

[Dan Polish Last Name @danjan13]

@NickMillerMusic My wife and I have taken to calling him Yippy

[ABNDESIGNS @abndesigns]

Among the greatest tweets

[wicked wigger of the west @Nick_Cerveza]

First 7 hours and 59 minutes of my job: kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill

Last 60 seconds before I clock out: 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨

[john @johnsemley3000]

the older I get, the less likely it seems I’ll bonk a guard unconscious and steal his uniform, to more easily infiltrate his base.

[Kevin @Daboys_22]

Might be the first time I have ever seen (Knee/Jail)

[cory @coolmathgame_]

dentist after examining my teeth: [frowning] i don’t like this [taking his tools out of my mouth] i don’t like teeth anymore

[Django Gold @django]

watching Indiana Jones for the first time, do archaeologists typically kill this many people?