danocruz

Keeping it real

[danocruz @danocruz1]

@alexandr_wang Booked my hair cut

Found me some insurance quotes

Got me a replacement battery through warranty for my vacuum

[danocruz @danocruz1]

I was shamed for scrolling Facebook in a public setting. @finkd you still got hittas out here 🫡

[danocruz @danocruz1]

@tonidorito @Chilis Shoulda gone to Applebee’s

[danocruz @danocruz1]

My algo needs to turn down the sf appreciation. I love San Francisco but I don’t need some ai tech transplant telling me their hidden gems and it’s just fort mason.

[danocruz @danocruz1]

Make twitter funny again

[danocruz @danocruz1]

Apple designing the air pods -

Okay let’s make them have noice cancellation.

Also a good battery.

But most importantly let’s make them launch the buds at least 50 feet from the case when they are dropped.

[danocruz @danocruz1]

Apparently I give off works at the grocery store vibes asking me “where can I find the walnuts.”

[danocruz @danocruz1]

Watching parent trap with my girl friends mom… “did the other little girl become a famous actress like Lindsey Lohan too?”

[danocruz @danocruz1]

There is no song of the summer… end of times.

[danocruz @danocruz1]

@tonidorito Always been a bowl man myself

[danocruz @danocruz1]

@shaunmmaguire Me and my boys whipping through the TL arresting fent dealers taking bribes and clearing $700k sounds like the life

[danocruz @danocruz1]

Overheard in line at customers “ stinky Frenchman behind us, free bird only in this line.” I love being American.

[danocruz @danocruz1]

@scmedicinals Bro been working his steps ?

[danocruz @danocruz1]

@tonidorito Need my aspartame to be micro plastic free

[danocruz @danocruz1]

Ahh to use deodorant that gives me cancer or use deodorant that doesn’t work

[danocruz @danocruz1]

@JackChambersGB Didn’t do him any good

[danocruz @danocruz1]

@realalexstone I mean I have always wondered…did they figure it out ?

[danocruz @danocruz1]

@elonmusk Bro go to mars already we don’t want a 7 day work week

[danocruz @danocruz1]

@AFpost Greenland penal colony would be electric

[danocruz @danocruz1]

Remembering the time my 6th grade science teacher accused the class of stealing her phone. She had us all snitch on a slip of paper and everyone accused the one brown chick in the class… she ended up finding it in her coat pocket.