Dan Nathan

[Dan Nathan @danoffountain]

@fesshole Over the weekend, put the airtag in the house, under the bed is best. She will go to check it next week during an encounter, and you will come back to her cleaning up the fallout from her arse.
Also, doesn't your phone alert you when an tag that's not yours is following? #IcallBS

[Dan Nathan @danoffountain]

@fesshole Easy as pie, pop on the app, make a claim, based on data, refund in account. What's difficult about that?

[Dan Nathan @danoffountain]

@fesshole Reassure her by saying "It's better now she wears underwear, it hides some bits she's unhappy about, if I'm honest, naked she's a 3, whereas you're 10+."

[Dan Nathan @danoffountain]

@anon_opin Tomorrow on @anon_opin ......
Deport all the nerds who think Doctor Who and Blake's is the height of Britishness. This will make plenty of room for those interesting people seeking residence here, and not just in their mum's basement.

[Dan Nathan @danoffountain]

@fesshole Dad?

[Dan Nathan @danoffountain]

@fesshole 100% that it was a Benjy's sandwich shop.

[Dan Nathan @danoffountain]

@fesshole Produce a video, but zoom cut out? Sounds like bollocks to me!

[Dan Nathan @danoffountain]

@CMPG @M6tollRoad @Roadchef Audi A4.

[Dan Nathan @danoffountain]

@punsandoneliner Lightening?

[Dan Nathan @danoffountain]

@cheesypoofsuk @SartorialThug Any nob who paints hinges in the first place needs the flat head screws driving in to their eyes!

[Dan Nathan @danoffountain]

@anon_opin "Fur baby" should also be banned. Everywhere.

[Dan Nathan @danoffountain]

@CCHertsScouts @HertsScouts Mentorliz scoutsliz bemoreamazing .....some options to ponder.

[Dan Nathan @danoffountain]

@punsandoneliner Bulbs grow, lamps glow.....

[Dan Nathan @danoffountain]

@OctopusEnergy why have our agile rates disappeared from the app today? I have no idea how much I'm paying for my energy. I'm having to take a punt on when it's cheaper? Not exactly helpful.

[Dan Nathan @danoffountain]

@anon_opin Highly likely that the twist on this is actually.... the kids find you dull, and you ruin the experience for them.

[Dan Nathan @danoffountain]

@fesshole Maybe brush up on the understanding of AI. It certainly isn't going to suddenly tell someone that "Dave" or "Daphne" plagiarised something 40 years ago, unless "it" is asked a very specific leading question. Even then, it needs to know about those 2 distinct items.

[Dan Nathan @danoffountain]

@fesshole Should keep leaving the phone stashed outside the fit aunts house every so often.

[Dan Nathan @danoffountain]

@fesshole Did everyone else hear the collective groan of millions of Nonnas as they read someone put carrot in a bolognese? Awful practice, needs wiping out.

[Dan Nathan @danoffountain]

@timoldland Thing is, there is only so much you can do with a Vauxhall Vectra. Bloody loved the SAABs though.

[Dan Nathan @danoffountain]

@SimonCarGuy Without doubt the best in Hertfordshire. Lewis Newton at Elevate Automotive. Check out his insta for everything he does https://t.co/75UxKS6ykg https://t.co/hgysdbmfVq