(Dan)ger Mouse

That part of your brain that says 'Don't do that. It's a bad idea.' Yeah, I don't have that.

[(Dan)ger Mouse @DapperSociopath]

What do you mean 'real' gang fights don't involve clicking your fingers & jazz hands.

[(Dan)ger Mouse @DapperSociopath]

@AklTransport why is the 70 leaving from Botany supposedly arriving in Pakuranga at 7:16 consistently arriving later than 7:20? Maybe you should leave early and anticipate the traffic. This affects most people's train connections.

[(Dan)ger Mouse @DapperSociopath]

Good job with inconsistent service @AklTransport today we got refused to board bus 258 because my 3yr old had his balance bike. Done this journey multiple times with the balance bike with no previous issues.

[(Dan)ger Mouse @DapperSociopath]

This week I am watching...the Hateful Eight; Tarantino Tarantino-ing at his best #movieweekender

[(Dan)ger Mouse @DapperSociopath]

If I knew origami I'd make you roses out of toilet paper whilst taking a shit, because I'm romantic.

[(Dan)ger Mouse @DapperSociopath]

First thing I'd know about a zombie apocalypse is if I'd hit one on the way to work...and that could easily/might as well be a cyclist

[Noodles @Dawn_M_]

A magician told me to prepare to be amazed but I didn't prepare and now I've shit myself.

[Jarhead @Jarhead44]

I never take a shower after the gym.
I want people to know I was there.

[(Dan)ger Mouse @DapperSociopath]

Beer, pizza, Dawn of the Dead. Who says I'm not living the high life?

[(Dan)ger Mouse @DapperSociopath]

Why does the internet keep thinking I want to talk to hot 18 year old Russian single mums from Asia currently in my area?

[(Dan)ger Mouse @DapperSociopath]

There's too much internet between you and I.

[David Hughes @david8hughes]

[job int]
"& what are your strengths."
"Lions."
"Lions?"
"I'll fuck up [lion walks by] I- [quietly] I'll fuck up any lion."

[eEric @ericsshadow]

iPhone is really a terrible name considering how rarely I use it as a phone. That's like if my bed was named iSex.

[(Dan)ger Mouse @DapperSociopath]

Well, I've already had one glass, so I might as well finish the bottle - how I do wine.

[(Dan)ger Mouse @DapperSociopath]

The guy doing karaoke in the flat below me like I've got loads of spare garden space for graves.

[Mario In Arizona @MarioInAZ]

My wife's friend Pedro is really good at magic tricks. He always knows what color underware my wife is wearing. I don't know how he does it!

[(Dan)ger Mouse @DapperSociopath]

Laughing uncontrollably at Arnie vs the devil in End of Days - my ideal date night.

[(Dan)ger Mouse @DapperSociopath]

*Me at Starbucks.*
Black coffee please.
Americano?
Black coffee.
Ameri...
Blaaack
What size?
Large.
Venti?
No. Uno will do thanks
Get out

[(Dan)ger Mouse @DapperSociopath]

Does anyone else think about Stephen King's The Stand when people talk about Ebola outbreak?

[(Dan)ger Mouse @DapperSociopath]

Rule 1 of running club: don't go to running club

[(Dan)ger Mouse @DapperSociopath]

Rule 1 of Gentleman Club: A gentleman never swears.

...unless that cunt was asking for it.