Scary Carrie

I am trying to be more like he and less like me✝️. pronouns: deplorable/garbage. #cryptopatriot

[Scary Carrie @darkshadow13]

My dysfunctional parents were social distancing in the 90’s

[Chelle~ @BombChelleNY]

Being an adult is just saying “after this week things will calm down” every single week until you die.

[PassiveAggressiveIncome @indexnforgetit]

The day I learned you can’t harvest organs from a dead person is the day I changed my license from organ donor

[Bummer T. Vibes, Esq @VibesBummer]

When I’m eating shared nachos I’m always thinking 3 nacho moves ahead of my opponent.

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

In the event there's a second civil war I ordered one of those tactical wallets

[BadMummy @WineMummy]

The older I get the less people I tolerate.

[Mistress Dividend @mistressdivy]

Millennials don't get midlife crises. we get one continuous crisis since 2008 with seasonal rebrands.

[Ginny Robinson @ImGinnyRobinson]

You’d think a pedophilic cannibalistic Satanic cult would be the final straw for everyone, but somehow no.

[Scary Carrie @darkshadow13]

I dislike it when ppl say, “have I given you a reason to not trust me.” No, but there are still opportunities out there….

[Notorious T.I.A 🐶🐱🐶🌈🏳️‍🌈🧩 @TiaLoops2]

🤣

[1k @notty_1k]

but do aliens believe in me

[Washingtons ghost @washghost1]

Valid point

[Scary Carrie @darkshadow13]

Voguing just looks like the autism Olympics.

[BODE @neverelent]

People unpleaser

[آمنة ⚛︎ @aminomolecule]

Romanticize life on Instagram, crash out on Twitter

[𝕁𝕠𝕙𝕟 🎩 @Jumperjohn1976]

Twitter is basically an acceptable way to mumble nonsense to yourself without being diagnosed clinically insane.

[Morgan Ariel @itsmorganariel]

I miss life pre-Covid.

The soul was sucked out of humanity in 2020 and it hasn’t returned since.

[masha @masha_slp]

I’m trying to have a good time despite knowing facts and information

[Geppetto San Martín 🚬🌭𓅸 @SmalltimeJones]

management just sent out an email banning all board games during breaks and i'm like what is this, yahtzee germany?

[Geppetto San Martín 🚬🌭𓅸 @SmalltimeJones]

when i whip out the weiner flute, people fucking listen