Dart Monkeys

Just two guys who love the nonsensical headlines surrounding stocks, investing and the economy and take it upon ourselves to rewrite what they actually meant.

[Dart Monkeys @dartmonkeys]

@ogstarwars @guinnessstache @catturd2 😂😂😂

[Dart Monkeys @dartmonkeys]

@guinnessstache @catturd2 I’m sure you posted this to get people riled up but I’m thinking of at least 117 reasons someone might fly on Christmas Eve or wait for it…dare I say Christmas Day. Oh the horror! Some people aren’t as talented as us with stocks and have to work a a real job w limited PTO🤦🏼‍♂️

[Dart Monkeys @dartmonkeys]

@FoxBusiness I guess individuals contributing to a traditional IRA are immune to inflation according to the IRS. Not that the 2.17% increase to 401k contributions keeps pace with inflation. 🤦🏼‍♂️

[Dart Monkeys @dartmonkeys]

@ParikPatelCFA #Fact

[Dart Monkeys @dartmonkeys]

@ParikPatelCFA I’ll just print more on my federal reserve printing press.

[Dart Monkeys @dartmonkeys]

I thought the stocks snapped their 4 day losing streak? Who writes this stuff? #stockmarkets

[Dart Monkeys @dartmonkeys]

Silly me, I thought the #stockmarkets closed at 4?

[Dart Monkeys @dartmonkeys]

Oh well, there goes that theory, markets take another day off. #4dayweekend

[Dart Monkeys @dartmonkeys]

Pent up frustration after being told to shut down yesterday, markets respond. Futures up! #StockMarket #DowJones #NASDAQ

[Dart Monkeys @dartmonkeys]

@CNBC @CNBCMakeIt She only charges $100 and hour? 🥰

[Dart Monkeys @dartmonkeys]

Hey Tom I gots the problem with my A/C. Can you help with that too?

[FOX Business @FoxBusiness]

Tom Brady touts cryptocurrency investments, says he's a 'big believer'
https://t.co/MRviOE6bG5

[Dart Monkeys @dartmonkeys]

If @Twitter was around in the 1200s could I have said “the world is round” without being blocked or having my account locked? 🤔 Thank God philosophers and Scientist were allowed to openly debate. #believethescience

[Dart Monkeys @dartmonkeys]

@BackpackerFI

[Dart Monkeys @dartmonkeys]

Who knew??? Stop free checks and people start looking for a job? That’s just crazy talk now

[CNBC @CNBC]

Job searches jumped 5% in states cutting unemployment benefits, analysis finds https://t.co/tif3SumuVG

[Dart Monkeys @dartmonkeys]

Buy buy buy. If Tom Brady says it, must be good.

[CNBC @CNBC]

Tom Brady says he's a 'big believer' in cryptocurrencies https://t.co/59QYdic4tC

[Dart Monkeys @dartmonkeys]

@VCBrags Uhhhh, Not watch CNBC??

[Dart Monkeys @dartmonkeys]

@gannonbreslin Buy and hold baby, buy and hold 🤦‍♂️ who buys stocks for 10 years? Vanguard index fund says hold my beer.

[Dart Monkeys @dartmonkeys]

Biden: ‘I’m a capitalist, but here’s the deal’ in other words you’re not a capitalist.

https://t.co/0Jl7M7erqq

[Dart Monkeys @dartmonkeys]

@BLTWatson @CNBC Got that right. I remember it was brutal. 🥵

[Dart Monkeys @dartmonkeys]

@CNBC I guess I can tune out your investing ideas.