The best way to make friends as an adult: Sign up for a new side quest. It could be a race or competition. Maybe a hiking adventure. Or some new creative hobby. Really whatever. It opens your life to an entirely new community of people. People you’d probably never have met or interacted with otherwise. Suddenly you have a shared mission. Group chats form. Daily texts start flying. Regular get togethers happen. Tons of new energy breathed into your life. I think we all need some Side Quest Friends. Sign up for that thing that scares you a little bit. Watch your whole life improve.
I finally understand that when you love someone, when you really love them, to recover from losing them you have to become a totally different person. You were molded to match them, and in their wake you have to disassemble yourself and try to find a new shape entirely. And so the mere idea of loss is an existential threat. I never understood this before.