Izzeh

Those who write 'as' where they would say 'because' don't half get on my wick

[Izzeh @daughternumber2]

@fiveleaves2 @LucyGoBag @wesstreeting Probably, which is why this lady has put so much effort in to educating people not to reach for them in an emergency. Only for Streeting to trample on it and give out dangerous info rather than educating himself before going on air

[Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere]

My dog Jack LOVES to howl at sirens, so today on our walk a fire truck passed us and he AWOOOED his little heart out, and when he was done somebody across the street applauded him (it was an epic awooo) and so Jack did a biiiig stretch, which looked like he was taking a bow which led to even MORE applause and you guys it’s been the best day

[Izzeh @daughternumber2]

@GoWhippet Please can you follow me so I can direct message you. Thank you

[The Secret Barrister 🦋 @BarristerSecret]

Free legal advice:

You don’t have to attend a riot to be prosecuted for conspiracy to riot. You don’t have to be present at a terrorist incident to be guilty of encouraging it.

A lot of Twitter warriors will be getting some unpleasant knocks on the door over the coming weeks.

[Izzeh @daughternumber2]

@LouiseRawAuthor @David_Challen No. With and without ate two separate offences so this is clarifying which

[Dr Rachel Clarke @doctor_oxford]

I’m simply horrified to see @NHSEngland now literally breaking the law in how it misrepresents physician associates & other allied health professional - who are NOT doctors - to the public.

These posters are from the Bradford District & Craven Health & Care Partnership. 1/n

[nazir afzal @nazirafzal]

If you’re a criminal, police aren’t resourced to arrest most of you

If you’re unlucky to be charged, courts take several years to deal with you

If you’re convicted, prisons are told to release many of you because they’re full

If you’re a Tory criminal, they give you an honour

[Jess Phillips @jessphillips]

Absolute bare face cynicism of this, they have had 3 bills where we pushed for higher sentences they rejected every effort. For 4 years we have campaigned for this, only when they can promise the earth and deliver nothing do they say they will do it. WHY DIDN'T THEY DO IT BEFORE?

[.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin]

pavlov: my hair is so dry

dog: should have conditioned it

[Izzeh @daughternumber2]

@maurice_1960 @MPSCroydon May have been charged with robbery in recent weeks and be awaiting court. Or considering his age could have gone through youth justice panels which are for those who admit guilt but are being diverted away from crim records.Albeit not convicted, but strong indicators nonetheless

[Izzeh @daughternumber2]

@leeinengland @MPSCroydon May have been charged with robbery in recent weeks and be awaiting court. Or considering his age could have gone through youth justice panels which are for those who admit guilt but are being diverted away from crim records.Albeit not convicted, but strong indicators nonetheless

[Douglas Cheape @CheapeDouglas]

How about that, specs and drugs and sausage rolls.

[Shooter McGavin @theeZane]

Still one of the best cold opens lol

[Izzeh @daughternumber2]

@ppsquire Thought you'd enjoy this 180+ tweet thread

[HLTCO @HLTCO]

2023 has been a weird, sometimes wonderful but often stressful year for everyone. With that in mind, I’ve put together a list of my favourite moments on here from the last 12 months. Make sure you’re sitting comfortably as there’s 196 tweets, so it might take some time.

Enjoy ❤️

[Yiddish Translator @JewYid]

Someone was kind enough to find a black yarmulke and put it on the steps of our synagogue a week ago. The problem is it's a bra pad

[Izzeh @daughternumber2]

@efloristflowers are you able to follow me please so I can query some flowers which have been delivered to our address?

[Dr Rachel Clarke @doctor_oxford]

Hahahahahahaha. More outstanding responses in today’s @thetimes, including this from @RoshanaMN which *surely* originally ended with “I fix bones, not boners”? H/T @MedCrisis 🤣

[Izzeh @daughternumber2]

@SoVeryBritish @ppsquire

[Russell Kane @russell_kane]

I've read so many books - academic and mainstream - about how to be happy and achieve stuff... they all boil down to the same four principles.

1) Treat and speak to others as you wish to be treated. (don't be a self-obsessed, self consumed c***)
2) Don't hang around with people who secretly or explicitly hate you / jealous of you and want to bring you down - you CANNOT fix them - and they delight in hurting you.
3) Don't blame other people for your shi*t. Work out what YOU got wrong, do better.*
*Unless you are actually a baby. Then it's fine.
4) Drink coffee, keep dancing / keep socialising

There is a fifth in my opinion. Care for animals. Even picking up shit is therapeutic.