David Bick

[Gus The Fox @GusTheFox]

Elon Musk looks like he could be the first human to visit Mars simply by unclenching his buttocks and using all those built up farts to fire himself through the heliosphere

[Farrukh @implausibleblog]

Top: A funeral director moves two men away from consoling their mother, at their father's, her husband's funeral

Bottom: Food, dancing and singing at Shaun Bailey's party during the same covid restrictions. Bailey is now in the House of Lords

Dozens of parties in Downing Street and CCHQ, with hundreds of fines, including for Boris Johnson and Rishi Sunak. They imposed rules on us which they didn't follow

Any person who votes Conservative today
Shame on you

Instead, act in the interest of our nation. Find the candidate most likely to replace your Conservative MP, and give them your vote https://t.co/CUYNmzOIdR

[Lauren Layfield @LaurenLayfield]

Here we go again

[The United Stand @UnitedStandMUFC]

Them.

[Podcast Secrets of the Pharaohs @PodcastPharaohs]

In, fire 30% of the Oompa Loompas, new logo, boom, out. You are now a fully trained chocolatier.

[David Bick @davebick]

@Parody_PM Twats!

[David Bick @davebick]

@georgiapudding Well, that’s quite the spoiler!

[Lewis @lewispringle]

The Rt Hon Hyacinth Bucket MP has been re-appointed Secretary of State for Candlelight Suppers.

#Reshuffle

[David Bick @davebick]

Nest: feathered

[Nigel Farage MP @Nigel_Farage]

Today was the best Conservative budget since 1986.

[David Bick @davebick]

@tahmidakthar Not sure you can argue with a World Cup semi-final followed by a Euros final…

[David Bick @davebick]

@FabrizioRomano Heir we go

[David Bick @davebick]

@CaptainFluke He’s the same as the rest of those controversialist grifters… he just has a larger vocabulary. He’s also one of the most fragile people I’ve ever seen.

[David Bick @davebick]

@LindseyBoylan What do you specifically propose he should be doing?

[David Bick @davebick]

@Joey7Barton He’s been reading my barely-relevant-but-all-i-could-read-off-my-smudged-writing-on-my-hand history exams answers

[David Bick @davebick]

@tigersgoroooar Hahaha

[David Bick @davebick]

@leonlegge32

[David Bick @davebick]

@TwitterSupport I can’t access my account on my laptop because my phone number has changed so I can’t do the two factor authentication. I’m also having trouble sending Twitter a message about this. What do I do?

[TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms) @TechnicallyRon]

How it started how its going

[David Bick @davebick]

@officialstevsax Hahaha me too! It’s absolutely a grown man called “Timmy”… it’s very lowlands