David Burns

I tweet because I care

[David Burns @daveburnsy]

@benwright I still don’t TBH

[David Burns @daveburnsy]

Movie idea: a cop falls in love with a man she keeps arresting. It’s called, “Love at First Cite.”

[David Burns @daveburnsy]

@NashvilleSC @opencup Okay. Just one more watch and I’ll go to bed 😃

[David Burns @daveburnsy]

@benwright But it’s a school night 😢

[David Burns @daveburnsy]

Just overheard a pilot tell a crew member we are trying to leave ASAP and I’m pretty shocked to learn that’s not always the case.

[David Burns @daveburnsy]

Just saw a "Mr. Enclosure" van drive by with its rear door open.

[David Burns @daveburnsy]

@Steelersdepot As a Dave, I find this belittling.

[David Burns @daveburnsy]

@will_palmtree @ClayLaSoul Got on X just for this. Going to bed now, thank you for saying it. 😆

[David Burns @daveburnsy]

Yeah winter is hard, but the water out of the faucet is a remarkable temperature. So hang in there.

[David Burns @daveburnsy]

The AA, AAA, and 9V batteries get all the media attention. Nobody’s talking about the CR2032 but we all need them.

[David Burns @daveburnsy]

It’s clear: I got a new windshield.

[David Burns @daveburnsy]

Maggie on switching from football to the ball drop coverage: “I don’t need to watch 45 minutes of Ryan Seacrest and people who’ve peed themselves all day. But if you want to watch the pee people, we can.”

[David Burns @daveburnsy]

The conversation between the truck driver and the movie director fizzled when neither showed any interest in the other’s new trailer.

[David Burns @daveburnsy]

@fields1335 😆 alright, just for you!

[David Burns @daveburnsy]

I was going to buy my mom some baking supplies for Christmas but I don’t think she kneads anything.

[David Burns @daveburnsy]

I don't know who needs to hear this but you have too many tabs open.

[David Burns @daveburnsy]

Just when life starts to make sense, I remember lightning exists. 🌩️🤯

[David Burns @daveburnsy]

@Hawthorneee It’s actually a big deal! Full solar eclipses are incredibly rare.

[David Burns @daveburnsy]

@MusicCitySCStat @Ticketmaster Same

[David Burns @daveburnsy]

@arleycornell You will experience seven plentiful years followed by seven years of famine.