Dave Sessions

Covering games for since 2011. Former Star-Telegram Rangers beat writer. Longhorn alum. @PolyMem scion.

[Dave Sessions @davesessions]

Newly updated third edition of my book, “Longhorn Football Legends,” is on Amazon now. Great stocking stuffer for the UT fan in your life https://t.co/lQEtjCyAAT

[Dave Sessions @davesessions]

For the record, No. 2 is “The Big Lebowski” with its infamous “This is what happens when you FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS” dub

[Dave Sessions @davesessions]

The GOAT of TV dubs. I’ve been saying “Yippee-ki-yay, MISTER FALCON” for more than three decades

[Todd Spence @Todd_Spence]

In 1993, DIE HARD 2 premiered on TBS but the network had to dub over all of the swear words, accidentally hiring an actor that sounded nothing like Bruce Willis. This version is known as the worst censored-for-tv edit in history 😂

[Dave Sessions @davesessions]

Not real sure what the Dewey Decimal System number is for “Moral Victories,” but that’s where this one needs to be filed. https://t.co/fkCM95l474

[Dave Sessions @davesessions]

I grew up in the country but have been a city slicker my entire adult life. Having returned to the hinterlands again in middle age, I love meeting new friends like Georgina the toad, who lives in our yard. She sits by the bug zapper. Clever girl.

[Chris Cadence @ChrisCadence]

Can we talk about how I thought Graham Platner was like 55 not 41 lmao that’s a rough 41

[Dave Sessions @davesessions]

Maybe I'm an outlier on this, but I actually enjoy a little existential nihilism on a broadcast.

Like Vin Scully's famous line: "He's listed as day to day. Aren't we all?"

[Awful Announcing @awfulannouncing]

"My two are in their 40s, they're not going to have kids. I won't go into one of them. That's not gonna happen. So the line is burnt. It's burnt. It just burned down" - Keith Hernandez

[Dave Sessions @davesessions]

Neto, Grissom and Adell were collectively on fire in a 13-1 Angels rout https://t.co/4H4T5dqirQ

[Dave Sessions @davesessions]

My obligatory Mike Trout story from tonight. The man can still rake. https://t.co/kM6yPggL1r

[Dave Sessions @davesessions]

Love the deadpan straight face here. Good commitment to the bit. Sold the joke well.

[Rob Friedman @PitchingNinja]

Paul Skenes on Ryan O'Hearn's 3 homer, 10 RBI game. 🤣

"I think it was kinda selfish, to be honest. Everybody else is getting on. Home runs are rally killers.

You hit a 3- run home run or a grand slam...and what now? There's nobody on. Nobody can drive him in. Good for him, I guess."

[Dave Sessions @davesessions]

Will the real Jose Soriano please stand up? My story from MLB dotcom: https://t.co/0ivyKhyggb

[Dave Sessions @davesessions]

“Perennial All-Star” Riley Greene - how does it sound, Tigers fans? https://t.co/usLeyB3jqp

[Dave Sessions @davesessions]

https://t.co/7at4QfEtKD here’s my take on the Tigers’ ASG selection day

[Dave Sessions @davesessions]

Andujar slashing .196/.234/.333 over 29 games since May 6 — 20-for-102 with 3 HR. Not in the lineup today; Will Wagner’s at DH again.

[San Diego Padres @Padres]

We have reinstated INF/DH Miguel Andujar from the 10-day IL and designated INF/OF Nick Solak for assignment.

[FOX 4 NEWS @FOX4]

"We're going to get drunk before the game. We're going to get drunk during the game. And then we're going to get drunk after the game."

The match doesn't start for another few hours, but England fans have a plan.

[Kara @karafagan]

MLB teams have whole campaigns begging you to vote their players into the ASG. They should start airing political-style ads that attack their opponents with unflattering black & white photos and out of context quotes.

[Dave Sessions @davesessions]

As somebody who has covered a few dozen MLB managers, I am telling you that Wash was 1/1

[GET RID OF BURGER AND JANSEN @rangersandftbal]

You look at this and then look at where we are now. Our potential is lost because I think managers bochy and skip aren’t on the players like wash was. Ron Washington will always be the best manager in rangers history to me

[Dave Sessions @davesessions]

@Evan_P_Grant Deserve’s got nothing to do with it

[Dave Sessions @davesessions]

The A’s bullpen passed another test today. Read my doozy of a story https://t.co/VtYZHi85nM

[Dave Sessions @davesessions]

A story I wrote today about Brent Rooker, who is at bat at this very moment https://t.co/TB32LYudYE

[Dave Sessions @davesessions]

While I got ya: Bobby Witt Sr. walked eight or more batters 10 times and still managed to pitch 7+ innings in five of those starts ...

[Dave Sessions @davesessions]

Walking two guys in the first inning is no big deal for a Ranger. I was across the street when Roger Pavlik walked *the first four hitters* against Toronto in 1997. All four scored. Pavlik was gone after 0.1 IP, 37 pitches, 16 strikes. Unforgettable.