daveymatey

We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles!

[Queer Latifah ✨ @TheAfrocentricI]

The saddest part about Malcolm-Jamal Warner’s passing is that there’s a whole generation that will never see his early acting brilliance on the Cosby Show because of what that terrible man did. They won’t be able to watch reruns or watch it on streaming to truly appreciate him 🥺

[zee @tisthezenseason]

chris martin after the show ended

[Tiffany Fong @TiffanyFong]

coldplay has provided me more entertainment in the past 24 hours than they have in their entire musical career.

[Chris Deeley @ThatChris1209]

Man ALL YOU HAD TO DO was no-sell it. If you hadn't gone down like you'd been shot, nobody would've ever known. What, you think your spouses are sat at home watching Coldplay jumbotron footage??? You've absolutely played yourselves.

[Robert Sterling @RobertMSterling]

I'm sorry but someone had to do it

[limp brittzkit @Brittymigs]

going on a date tonight to see coldplay with my special guy :) hope nothing weird or bad happens

[Ramp Capital @RampCapitalLLC]

I should never have to do another mandatory HR training again after this bullshit

[Trophy Knife @sarah1mc]

Only eight more hours of Coldplay jokes to go.

[Boo @IzaBooboo]

Is anyone at all surprised that the head of HR at a major corporation behaved in a totally inappropriate manner that would subject anyone else to disciplinary action?

[Not the Bee @Not_the_Bee]

This is outdated. Coldplay now holds the record for most expensive concert ticket ever sold.

[Dr. Parik Patel, BA, CFA, ACCA Esq. @ParikPatelCFA]

Never ask;

- A woman her age
- A man his salary
- HR about their own HR violations

[Autism Capital 🧩 @AutismCapital]

It was a long con all along! 😮😂

[Tony X @soIoucity]

This would be a non story if they didn't react. You gotta act like you belong!! That's how I've been getting free breakfast at the Hilton down the street for the past 2 weeks.

[Hannah @dumbandfunn]

do we think they both called out of work today…

[Spinal Tap @SpinalTap]

To the spouses who found out they were being cheated on via the Coldplay jumbotron: sorry to hear that. Come see Spinal Tap. We promise no jumbotrons, just ear damage and emotional closure.

[Encyclopaedia Britannica @Britannica]

Brb taking Wikipedia to a Coldplay concert.

[Ana @ellexxgrant]

I’m sorry but Chris Martin saying either they’re having an affair or they’re just very shy is top tier comedy