Dave

[Toby Turner @TobyTurner]

unban @leafyishere so I can point at him as the most offensive guy

[Goblin @TheGoblinnn]

I sometimes wonder why I don’t get a ton of sponsor emails until I remember that I used to spam check my emails while coked out of my mind and if I got a low offer I’d reply and tell them to go fuck themselves. That’ll do it

[Goblin @TheGoblinnn]

We are about to enter a recession so brutal we’ll be back living in shacks beside train tracks like it’s 1929

[Goblin @TheGoblinnn]

98% of people who say their dream job is some absurdly difficult shit like a Neurosurgeon, Cardiac surgeon, etc. are being performative. Just put the fries in the bag

[Goblin @TheGoblinnn]

Beast mode

[Goblin @TheGoblinnn]

If I see one more AI generated thumbnail on YouTube I'm going to puke. You all look like those deep fried memes from 2016

[Toby Turner @TobyTurner]

i’d vote for a guy named Vlad the Impaler

[B @RaypistOfKvatch]

They hated his ass because he owned an LCD monitor in 2002.

[Goblin @TheGoblinnn]

Many keep asking me why I am in debt to my dentist, as he’s the only “small business” on my list of debtors, so it’s time for a short story:

Back in early 2021 I had to get all four of my wisdom teeth removed. Went to the dentist and was quoted around $700 for everything (very good price then and insane now) including anesthesia. They promised I’d be put under for the procedure. I agreed and set a date.

I showed up for my appointment, and I’m seated in the chair and they’re about to start drilling my teeth when I ask why I’m still conscious. The dentist tells me “oh if you want to not feel anything, it will cost about double what you’re paying now”. We go back and forth a little, I’m pissed this is only mentioned when I’m literally seated in the chair ready to go, I bring up being told by the SAME DOCTOR that I’d be put under 100%, but I reluctantly agreed to pay more because he did not give a fuck. They fed me nitrous for the entire thing, so I wasn’t all the way out, but I was blasted.

Procedure was fine, I get done and once I sober up enough from the nitrous I go to the front desk to check out. I am given a bill of $1400. I say I can’t pay that today (I was really broke back then and actually couldn’t), they told me I had a month.

I went home and never spoke to them again. They tried to bait and switch me. They didn’t know they had a 380 credit score demon in the room. Next time run a credit check.

Fuck you dentist

[Autism Capital 🧩 @AutismCapital]

They don’t want you to know about this one financial strategy.

[ًً @stoyatel]

just saw an absolute fucking chad on my timeline

[Goblin @TheGoblinnn]

😂😂😂

[Goblin @TheGoblinnn]

Women will have 3 cities in their IG bio and live in none of them

[dracula flow @draculafl0w]

I'm him, I've been him, I will continue to be him

[Goblin @TheGoblinnn]

- Stole the joint out of his friend's hands
- Immediately puffs it like a cigar
- 75% of smoke is not inhaled
- Hands it back after one hit
- Visibly repulsed after exhaling
Is this the worst rotation of all time? 🤔

[Goblin @TheGoblinnn]

Unrelated to the topic of the clip, but the blue drink Howie is holding is a Feel Free drink containing 7OH, an extremely addictive unregulated opioid. @howiemandel you’re a loser for peddling addictive & sketchy 7OH products to your unsuspecting, presumably old fans. Fuck you

[Goblin @TheGoblinnn]

Nah the extra butter in the banger is absolute genius. However, am I supposed to shove my entire forearm down the buttery tube to get the rest of the popcorn at the bottom of the beaker?

[Goblin @TheGoblinnn]

This guy comes from an era where people were buying homes and raising 3 kids on factory worker money. Lunch now costs more than the average hourly wage, everyone is poor, and these old retards keep saying "just eat rice and beans kids" as if Chipotle is why wages are stagnant

[dracula flow @draculafl0w]

I took two limitless pills to limit myself