Robert Sykes

Dad of three smashing kids. HTAFC fan. Just living the dream.

[Bootneck Stuff @BootneckStuff]

82 Years Ago Tonight: The Royal Marines Invented Extreme Kayak Warfare

Operation Frankton, 7 December 1942 – The Night Twelve Absolute Maniacs Declared War… With Folding Canoes.

Picture the scene: Nazi-occupied France, winter, pitch black, freezing tidal river that smells like death and baguettes. Normal people are hiding in cellars.

The Royal Marines are unpacking collapsible canoes called “Cockles” (yes, really) from a submarine and whispering, “Hold my tea, lads, we’re going shopping.”

Twelve Royal Marines. Five canoes that look like someone sat on a dinghy and said “good enough.”

Mission: paddle 70 miles upstream, past German gunboats, through minefields, in December, to stick magnetic sea-mussels full of explosives (limpet mines) on Hitler’s cargo ships in Bordeaux harbour.

Because apparently bombing them from the air was “too easy.”

They launched from HMS Tuna looking like the world’s most depressed canoeing club. One canoe immediately sank because someone sneezed.

Another team got captured after accidentally inventing the world’s worst French conversation:

German patrol: “Halt! Who goes there?” Royal Marines: “Er… tourists?” (They were executed. The Germans did not appreciate British humour.)

Only four men in two canoes reached Bordeaux. They mined six ships like it was the world’s most aggressive valet parking service. BOOM.

Six Nazi freighters suddenly remembered they had a prior engagement with the seabed.

Then they tried to leg it to Spain. On foot. In clogs they stole from French farmers. Spoiler: most didn’t make it.

Two absolute legends, Major “Blondie” Hasler and Marine Bill Sparks, walked 100 miles through occupied France, living on raw onions and sheer spite, before hopping over the Pyrenees like it was a casual Sunday stroll.

Churchill later said the raid shortened the war by six months. The Germans were so rattled they stationed an entire division on the docks to guard against… more men in canoes.

Imagine being that German general: “The Royal Navy has aircraft carriers, battleships, and submarines… and they sent CANOES. I quit.”

So tonight, 82 years on, raise whatever you’ve got to the dozen beautiful lunatics who proved that if you want something blown up properly, just give a Royal Marine a canoe, a bad attitude, and no adult supervision.

Operation Frankton: Because sometimes the correct answer to “How do we attack that heavily defended port?” is “Mate, just fold up a boat and vibe.”

Only two came home. Every ship they touched went straight to Davy Jones. Legend. Absolute legend.

[Old School Eddie @Old_SchoolEddie]

I read this 3 times before I got it 😂

[sam @Britton65Sam]

😂😂😂👍😈

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

The main rule of serving a roast dinner is there should be absolutely no clear space on the plate. If you can see plate, something’s gone wrong.

[Robert Sykes @db1390]

A legend and wonderful guy like you deserves to be welcomed with open arms. You and Schindler did more for Anglo German relations in Yorkshire than you realise 👍

[Michael Hefele @michaelhefele]

The UK welcomed me with open arms in 2016, and from that moment, it truly felt like a fairytale. I spent eight and a half unforgettable years in England — years filled with incredible memories, growth, and experiences that shaped me both on and off the pitch…

#heffingdream

[cinesthetic. @TheCinesthetic]

The ending of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966) is so iconic it almost overshadows the rest of the film. Leone spent 3 days shooting that standoff, timing every cut and Morricone cue to perfection. Pure cinema distilled into a few breathtaking minutes.

[That’s So Village @ThatsSoVillage]

The best bowling action ever!

via @LastManStands

[Blair Paddy Mayne @blair_mayne]

Remembering today on the 35th anniversary of his passing Lieutenant Colonel Sir Archibald David Stirling, DSO, OBE, the founder of the Special Air Service

Lest We Forget

[Mike&Mildred @mikenmildred]

Fatherly advice 🤣🤣

[MERICA MEMED @Mericamemed]

She's gonna remember to keep her right up when she wakes up

[Philippe Lemoine @phl43]

If you feel like you're bad at your job and it's making you depressed, just consider that, as the investigation of the recent heist revealed, the password to access the Louvre's videosurveillance system was "Louvre".

[Lee Cohen 🇺🇸🇬🇧 @TheTeaWithLee]

In case you need a smile today. Apparently the Princess Royal was awarded the title "Favourite Great Aunt" by HRH Charlotte.

[Norman Brennan @NormanBrennan]

BREAKING NEWS; This👇is youngest child ever to be given a Red Card on a football pitch; he was a 2yr boy who ran onto the pitch to give his brother a hug; the Red Card was upheld by VAR he will now have to watch the next 3 games holding his mums hand👇🤷‍♂️

[Former Footballers @FinishedPlayers]

Paolo Di Canio won the FIFA fair play award for this moment 👏

[Inferam @InferamAI]

purest souls often speak the loudest without words.