Patrick by the beach

DC to NYC to Boston to Chicago to somewhere on the Chesapeake - I tweet about politics to troll you, I tweet about sports to troll myself

[Patrick by the beach @dc_prs]

This might be better than the last

[Michael Magaletta @mikemagz07]

Do you guys think Dianna Russini’s family is celebrating her today?

😬

[Patrick by the beach @dc_prs]

🤣🤣 banger

[Burt Macklin @BurtMaclin_FBI]

Caught my wife doing laundry and stopped her immediately. I said, “Babe, it’s Mother’s Day. You don’t do chores today. Go sit down and relax; these clothes will still be here tomorrow.”

I’m such a good husband.

[Patrick by the beach @dc_prs]

#HAIL

[Patrick by the beach @dc_prs]

@__KerryLyn130 Inject this video directly into my frontal lobe

[Patrick by the beach @dc_prs]

@JeremiahDJohns @mattyglesias @IfindRetards found one

[Patrick by the beach @dc_prs]

🤣🤣 hang it in the louvre

[KFC @kfc]

.@DUDEwipes just gonna let you guys handle this one

[Patrick by the beach @dc_prs]

🧑‍🍳 😘

[The Brohioan @TheBrohioan]

The Falcons picking up free agents

[Patrick by the beach @dc_prs]

@nikitabier @growing_daniel Banger

[Patrick by the beach @dc_prs]

This app is cooking right now 🧑‍🍳

[Coop LoPresto @LCplLoPro]

I have received confidential information from a White House insider that Trump was initially hesitant to greenlight strikes against the Islamic Regime of Iran, but then members of the USA Men's Hockey Team no-balls'd him into it when they visited the White House.

[Patrick by the beach @dc_prs]

🤣

[Patrick by the beach @dc_prs]

@JTRock21

[Is This Thing On @OutOfKenTroll]

Canadian hockey twitter ran into the behemoth that is college football twitter and it’s been exactly the massacre you would expect.

[Is This Thing On @OutOfKenTroll]

Canadian hockey twitter ran into the behemoth that is college football twitter and it’s been exactly the massacre you would expect.

[Patrick by the beach @dc_prs]

🤣🤣🤣 #class

[Big Cat @BarstoolBigCat]

Let’s all agree to win with class. Remember, hockey is our 4th best sport as a country and it’s all Canada has so we need to be kind when we tell the rest of the world to suck our dicks from the back 🇺🇸

#Class

[Patrick by the beach @dc_prs]

🤣🤣🤣 imagine trying to flex over a 6 month wait for a MRI. My heel bothered me last week and I got a MRI the next day.

[Coddled Affluent Professional @feelsdesperate]

Canadians are proud when MRI wait times are below 6 months in big cities.

Wow. I guess they showed me.

[Patrick by the beach @dc_prs]

Another banger from LHGrey. A must follow

[LHGrey™️ @grey4626]

You fucking sanctimonious pricks and your sniveling Eurocrat enablers:

every single breath of freedom you’ve enjoyed for the last eighty goddamn years was paid for in American blood on the beaches of Normandy, in the frozen hell of Bastogne, and across every inch of liberated soil from Sicily to the Elbe.

Your grandparents were goose-stepping behind a genocidal maniac who turned Europe into a charnel house, and it was American boys...farm kids from Iowa, factory workers from Detroit, roughnecks from Texas...who waded through machine-gun fire and drowned in their own blood to rip you out of that abyss.

We didn’t do it because we liked your sauerkraut or your pretentious philosophy; we did it because someone had to stop the nightmare you unleashed on the world.

And now...NOW...you have the unmitigated gall, the breathtaking, jaw-dropping arrogance to sit in your cushy Brussels parliament or your Berlin analyst chair and lecture US about “fascism”?

You, who needed the full might of the United States military to drag your nation out of its suicidal death cult, dare to wag your finger at the country that saved your entire fucking continent?

No.

You get to shut your smug, ungrateful mouths and remember that without America, your language would be spoken only in history books, your cities would still be rubble, and your precious “European values” would be a footnote under a swastika banner.

You want to talk fascism?

Look in the mirror at the continent that birthed it, perfected it, and required the sacrifice of hundreds of thousands of American lives to burn it out.

We are the reason you even have the freedom to spew this venomous, ahistorical horseshit.

So take your lectures, your moral superiority, and your selective amnesia, and shove them straight up your ungrateful asses.

America saved you once.

Don’t make us fucking regret it.

💀⚔️🛡️

[Patrick by the beach @dc_prs]

@PhoenixDegen @RyanGirdusky DMU theory is idiotic, has never stood up to scientific scrutiny, is easily disproven, and is a flat out lazy defense for progressive tax policies

[Patrick by the beach @dc_prs]

@ScottPresler Maryland needs your help!

[Matt Morgan @MattMorgan29A]

I just received word from Maryland’s Speaker of the House. In a sudden shift, she has moved the Rules hearing on their controversial redistricting map to Tuesday. Most importantly, she removed the arbitrary limits on witness testimonies.

While we rarely see eye-to-eye on the role of government, I want to tip my hat to the Speaker and thank her for her friendship. This is a welcome change of heart and keeps with her promises. It is a win for transparency and a win for the legislative process.

Republicans, the door is now open. Will you walk through it? This is your moment to stand up and speak out against a map that threatens your representation. Every piece of testimony can be used for a potential lawsuit. Don’t let this opportunity vanish. Sign up, show up, and let your voices be heard.

[Patrick by the beach @dc_prs]

🤣🤣🤣 perfect summary of where TDS has broken some peoples’ brain.

[Stew @Stewbiedo0]

A friend dating back to high school has a German life partner and spends a lot of time in Germany. Is there now and posted that he can’t take the US gestapo government anymore and is beginning the process to move there permanently. I’m like cool, you’re there now. You’re all set. He’s like no, I have to (lays out complex process of establishing permanent residency). I reply why bother with all that? You’re there now, stay. He explains that you just can’t just do that. There’s a process or you’ll get sent back. Interesting, I say.

[Patrick by the beach @dc_prs]

Insane stat

[Jake Russell @_JakeRussell]

The rise of Indiana Football is one of the most incredible things I've ever seen.

From being the first FBS team to lose 700 games in 2022 to the first FBS team to go 16-0 since Yale in 1894, the Hoosiers' ascent, in its rapidity and dominance, is something to be studied.

[Patrick by the beach @dc_prs]

Yikes

[Greg Price @greg_price11]

Democrats now control the legislature and Governor's office in Virginia.

Here are just a few of the bills they've introduced

- New 4.3% sales tax on Uber Eats, Amazon, etc deliveries.
- New sales tax on admissions to a wide variety of businesses.
- Create two new higher tax brackets of 8% and 10% on people making over $600K.
- A new 10% tax bracket for anyone making over $1M.
- 3.8% investment tax on top of state income taxes.
- Raise the hotel tax.
- New personal property tax on landscaping equipment.
- Ban gas powered leaf blowers.
- Guarantee illegal aliens free education.
- Make it illegal to approach somebody at an abortion clinic.
- Extend the time absentee ballots can be received after election day to three days
- Allow people to cast their votes electronically through the internet.
- Expand ranked-choice voting.
- Extend the deadline for ballot curing to one week after election day.
- Redact the addresses of political candidates from FOIAs.
- Add Virginia to the National Popular Vote Compact for presidential electors.
- Make it illegal to hand count ballots.
- $500 sales tax on firearm suppressors .
- "Assault weapons" and large capacity magazine ban.
- 11% sales tax on all firearms and ammunition.
- Prohibit outdoor shooting of a firearm on land less than 5 acres.
- Lower the criminal penalties for robbery.
- Ban the arrest of illegal aliens in courthouses.
- Remove mandatory minimum sentences.
- Allow localities to install speed cameras.
- Replace Columbus Day with "Indigenous Peoples Day."