jeffrey

Investment Wanker | Mariah Carey Scholar | Cleaning Staff at Equinox

[jeffrey @dccised]

The cashier at Trader Joe’s asked me if I worked at Equinox because I was wearing an Equinox T-shirt and I said, “No, but thank you for thinking I’m fit enough to be a personal trainer!” and she said, “They have cleaning staff too.”

[jeffrey @dccised]

Not the Salem Dick Trials…

[Igor Bobic @igorbobic]

Fetterman seems to believe that Platner sent photos of himself to women, calling him “Captain Dick pic.”

“Have we become the pro-dick party?” he adds

“Did he send a dick pic?” asks @ArthurDelaneyHP

“He hasn't denied that, but he could clear it up and show it,” Fetterman says

[jeffrey @dccised]

Sorry I’m late, I had to iron something linen.

[jeffrey @dccised]

Bf just learned that “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah” is a bit from 30Rock. He thought it was an actual song by Prince.

[jeffrey @dccised]

Omg my mom loves the Eggspectation right next door.

[FearBuck @FearedBuck]

Cardi B and Stefon Diggs were seen arguing outside a coffee shop in Maryland.

[jeffrey @dccised]

Hidden? Gurl…

[Popstonox @Popstonox]

73-year old Maine Republican Senator Susan Collins reveals she has a medical condition that causes her to tremor uncontrollably she has hidden since 1997

She is the 28th oldest current US Senator

[jeffrey @dccised]

Chad Bianco’s rebuttals…

[jeffrey @dccised]

At the “bring your child to work day” event, they just asked the kids if they know how to value a private company.

[jeffrey @dccised]

My mom: You just don’t understand Eastern culture. We are honest because we want you to be better. Anyway, your cousin had a baby and they gave it the stupidest name ever.

[Olivia Julianna 🇺🇸🦅🗳️ @0liviajulianna]

@aidannonx Well… it’s showing up on your timeline so are you gay or a fat bitch?

[jeffrey @dccised]

My foster kittens attacking the mirror:

[RuPaul @RuPaul]

Only thing that has ever really stood in my way is my own limited perception of myself

[jeffrey @dccised]

Guy on my plane when asked by the flight attendant if there is anything under the seat in front of him.

“My feet.”

Asked if he would be able to place his backpack there.

“No.”

Maybe I’m too accommodating.

[jeffrey @dccised]

The pothos in my home office, because it wasn’t close enough to the window.

[Andrew Tate @Cobratate]

Books are below me.

[jeffrey @dccised]

“Microchip stocks slip slightly as Trump’s threat to end an entire civilization has investors feeling sheepish.”

[jeffrey @dccised]

Journalism these days is retweeting something we can all see for ourselves with no contextualization.

[Kaitlan Collins @kaitlancollins]

Trump this a.m.

[jeffrey @dccised]

This man’s inevitable personal conduct scandal is going to be a cultural reset.

[Mark Moran @itsmarkmoran]

Today, I am putting Virginia & America First, to announce that I am running as an Independent for U.S. Senate.

[Rep. Nancy Mace @RepNancyMace]

The media wants to talk about Bryon and Kristi Noem's personal drama and indiscretions. I want to talk about who is getting deported, who got paid, and who's stealing from taxpayers.

Different priorities. Let's focus on what matters.

[jeffrey @dccised]

Looking up things to do in Bologna and it suddenly occurred to me that maybe there’s an Equinox I can visit.

[jeffrey @dccised]

Social commentary like this is funny because what about the hordes of conservative men that not only exist but control all levers of society right now. Are you saying they aren’t role models or they are all queens…

[Hannah Faulkner @hannahf1776]

Children started acting like this because of social media.

And because we no longer have masculine men in our society.

[jeffrey @dccised]

Shared a hotel elevator with a guy clearly retrieving his Grindr hookup and on the way up the guy tries to make small talk, “It’s so busy. Is something going on in DC this week?” and his hookup says, “Well, we are at war.”

[Mogg, Lord Of Chud @IrisErased]

Do people on Chinese social media see some out of pocket gay shit and go "ofc the location is Chengdu" like Twitter and Atlanta