d.lil

not funny, not exciting, not smart, but I am pretty

[d.lil @dddevynnwitt]

Dad: “I remember the time I outran a cop. It cost me $250 but it was worth it.”
“If you outran him why did it cost $250?”
Dad: “Because he knew me and drove to my house.”

[Lindsay Ballant @lindsayballant]

Never leaving this app

[andy from 5 to 7 @ChampagneAnyone]

before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate

[🚄駿SHUN🚃 @7ZkXuzCSNHMSh6o]

⭐️おやすみなさい⭐️

[Posts Of Cats @PostsOfCats]

those teefs... he thinks he's dracula

[snoopy @snoopyvinyls]

snoopy claus ♥️

[Noelle🌟 @noellemarenart]

Star projector

[Devon Eriksen @Devon_Eriksen_]

Ahf mgull wuff, whummh gruh mahmf. Whiffl mifh, bunguh wah snuggah. Blor mnah mrah muffah? Mmhrm, mmhrmm.

"Uhff gugnah bluh muh," wugged Blorg, hufflm agh smugg. "Whaff knoff uh pluh muhmf?"

Mruff wuggr, miff puffguh smahff. Whimm skruff! "Ahgh knuff?" hghelfl Phlorm, muhf whun glugguh whiffluh.

Blorg shugged. "Uhff ghimmah munnugh!" heh flubbah.

Mrunh miffl uhff muggaguh mahff. Glorf snubbah whug gruh mpahff. "Uhff guhr," Blorg slorphed. "Ahgliff mmuh gruff."

"Bffmuff uh groo? Snugguh wug wuhff!" Phlorm waffed.

Mugh. Ughff, sniff snah glummuh mpahh!

Whump grugg plahff. Fliffmah snurph glumpah, mnorr muggff. Smahff muggah sniggff.

“Gluff muhg, wrrmp!” mghsh Flerb. "Gnahff snugguh wuffl!"

Ahff pffm! Whummf plagg snurr. Blor mahf! "Gwah snuh grumm!" flupped Blorg, grug sniff whugga.

Mphfff... Flumm grug snuh whar? Grubb phiffluh snugh.

“Snuh? Fluff whaffniff!” mfflla glu Phlorm.

Ah, piff. Whug mahff. Smorgh gluggah, nugguh waffluh phug.

[Elmo @elmo]

This was Elmo's best year yet! ❤️

[snoopy posters @snoomfies]

It’s cold

[Osiris | Rat Vtuber @Osiris_Is_Away]

@lyntarts Pick up the pencil

[frankie @FrankieGPhD]

I asked my students today if they had heard Maggie Smith passed away, completely forgetting I had a student named Maggie Smith, who happened to be absent

[Kate Rietema @KateRietema]

My cousin found this and I think it’s the most delightful thing I’ve seen all week.

[Sydney Battle @SydneyBattle]

what u have to understand about my dad is that when “taken” came out he was moved because he said that he’d never seen himself “so accurately represented on screen”