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fiwb

[will ⁶𓅓 @wogman7]

Lmao your all mad and hating meanwhile i am whipping a 70k car and make 5k a week 😭😭 just a little funny to me

[Quickslate @Quickslate2]

@TownsUsa Me making the trek to Utah so I can kill myself

[Yup @Lobopobia]

Steve Harvey: We asked 100 Shaolin Monks whats one thing you can't forget when leaving the monastary

White guy wearing sandals and a robe: Steve I'm gonan go with Scroll of the Eastern Wind

Steve: HHWHAT?!?

*Survey flips over showing 符箓 with 68 answers*

[Alan Wagner @truewagner]

I'm actually interested to see what happens in this.

[jz2 @mixedgrass666]

Unfortunately gonna be saying “I got 49 guys in my living room” a lot

[Kal Pacino @Kaliebud]

Yesterday our Ticketmaster computer freaked out and coughed out two abstract tickets and one ticket to see Norm Macdonald in Anaheim in 2011

[Lonious Thee Monk @billevansfan251]

Happy birthday John Coltrane!!!!!!!!!!!!

[caila 🔻 @HEARTAVl]

[9/11 in 2024]

worker in the north tower: why is the office siren going off

girl who just bought bayonetta glasses: omg thank u! im trying a new look <3

[wint @dril]

i do have a resting IQ of about 80, however , im known to "Activate" iqs of ≥200, by doing my special Focus Stance, or by Abusing Poppers .

[p1ksel.🇵🇱🇺🇦 @Brzoza_GBur]

@grieveroadyt @tulpapilled Estonians when they turn 2:

[jude @judecomputer]

the guy singing “don’t stop me now” at karaoke just sang “200 degrees that’s why they call me mr family guy” and i can feel it burrowing into my grey matter like a parasite

[mr. probably gay @powcampsurvivor]

wife: he’s acting more like a dependent than a partner.

me (therapist): hm *scribbles in notebook*

husband: i’m sorry for wanting to relax when i get home

me: *nods, scribbles*
i have something id like to share with you both

*turns notebook around to show them this*