Love the Lord with a firm foundation of faith. Let it be the base upon which you stand and from which you climb. That love will provide power for you to love your neighbors and to help them.
You do not have to simply be a product of your childhood. You have the power & the right to refuse to pass on the negative patterns of the home you grew up in.
It takes humility & work, but those neural pathways can be replaced with inspired & healthier roads for your children.