DeeTurdGent

detergent wash and repeat

[DeeTurdGent @DeeTurdGent]

@McDonalds how did I get 3 chicken McNuggets when I paid for 4?

[DeeTurdGent @DeeTurdGent]

@atrupar Whıte trash

[DeeTurdGent @DeeTurdGent]

@CalltoActivism You see how stressed the Secret Service guys are

[DeeTurdGent @DeeTurdGent]

@sasquatchvlogtv Across three lanes of 50mph beach blvd

I won’t do it

Drive 100 more feet and get a signal and a legal u turn

[DeeTurdGent @DeeTurdGent]

@realestatedude0 Or $2500 up charge for being a difficult customer

[DeeTurdGent @DeeTurdGent]

@Angry_Staffer Also what’s “product for ground beef”

[DeeTurdGent @DeeTurdGent]

@jeffreyasites You know everybody’s recording these 9pm calls it’s gonna be insane when they come out

[DeeTurdGent @DeeTurdGent]

@ABC7 Well, you only take your dog in the car for Vet visits. They know what’s up.

[The Adorable Pups @TheAdorablePups]

Adorable moment a dog experienced a siren for the first time and amazingly joining the howl

[DeeTurdGent @DeeTurdGent]

@Timodc His nose hasn’t worked since the 90’s

[DeeTurdGent @DeeTurdGent]

@Rizzem_wif_tism They do it to kill the bugs and straighten the board

[DeeTurdGent @DeeTurdGent]

@JoshuaBarzon Nobody has a beautiful wife in Iowa

[DeeTurdGent @DeeTurdGent]

@cordes_tax Never

[DeeTurdGent @DeeTurdGent]

@uber at what point is it acceptable for me. “Arriving in 3 minutes ride” to turn into arriving 21 minutes later ??

[DeeTurdGent @DeeTurdGent]

@CalltoActivism He’s over medicating

[DeeTurdGent @DeeTurdGent]

@SuperBasedInCa @GavinNewsom Quit running the AC all day jakass

[Lakota Man @LakotaMan1]

So, a closeted co-worker recently came out to me as gay. I was like, “Oh thank god. I thought you were going to tell me that you’re a Trump supporter.” 🤷🏽‍♂️

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

I watched Trump’s speech at the Correspondents’ Dinner last night.
It’s hard to articulate how sad it made me.

Sad and embarrassed and exhausted.

Here is the thing about a man who is a joke. He can’t tell one.

People think humor is a talent. It isn’t. It’s a capacity. To make someone laugh you have to be able to laugh at yourself, and to laugh at yourself you have to step outside of yourself and see what everyone else sees. For one second you have to be just another person in the room.

Most people can do this by the time they are nine years old.

He has never once managed it. Not in fifty years of cameras. Not for a second.

That is not a quirk. It is a symptom. The muscle that lets you tell a joke is the same one that lets you feel what another person feels. A man who cannot survive being laughed at cannot imagine being anyone but himself. He will only ever be generous when it is photographed. He will only ever be kind when it is filmed.

There is a name for it.

So he stood up there and did what he always does. He hit down. He made jokes about people’s weight. He made jokes about their intelligence. He made jokes about how women look. He read out the names of people he doesn’t like, and mocked them. Always mocking. And when no one laughed he blamed his speech writers.

The cruelty dressed as humor has worn so thin.

And for the 30% of you still in the cult who will inevitably call me a crackhead and blame it all on my Dad, all I can say is please, for the love of God, open your eyes. Wake the fuck up. Have some dignity. Have some pride.

Joe Biden wasn’t standing at that podium last night. Donald Trump was.

And at the end of it he put on a red hat that said Trump 2028 and told the room he was running again. No one laughed because everyone knows he has no intention of leaving.

Just another joke at our expense.