delshout1

[delshout1 @delshout1]

Why does Luke Littler have so many Christmas jumpers?
He keeps getting double tops.
#goldcrackers

[delshout1 @delshout1]

What star is suspended from the Olympic Christmas tree?
Tom Cruise.
#goldcrackers

[delshout1 @delshout1]

Why is Anthony Joshua getting a set of paints for Christmas?
Because he's spending more time on the canvas.
#goldcrackers

[delshout1 @delshout1]

Why are the Gallagher brothers appearing together at this year's Christmas carol service?
They're both singing from the same hymn sheet.
#goldcrackers

[delshout1 @delshout1]

What happened when Santa's sack got stuck in Rachel Reeves' chimney?
She told him to budget.
#Goldcrackers

[delshout1 @delshout1]

Why are Liam and Noel Gallagher performing Christmas carols
together this year?
Because they're both singing from the same hymn sheet.
#goldcrackers

[delshout1 @delshout1]

Did you hear about the gang who were going to make fake chocolate coins with King Charles' face on?
Their plan got foiled.
#GoldCrackers

[delshout1 @delshout1]

Why are Liam and Noel Gallagher going Christmas carol singing together this year?
Because they're both singing from the same hymn sheet.
#goldcrackers

[delshout1 @delshout1]

What did Rachel Reeves' colleagues do when she served them slices of Christmas turkey?
They challenged her cuts.
#goldcrackers

[delshout1 @delshout1]

What did Oasis sing at the Christmas nativity?
Don't Look Back In Manger.
#goldcrackers

[delshout1 @delshout1]

What did the pantomime audience say when they were asked to comment on Ticketmaster prices?
Everything's tickety-booooooo.
#GoldCrackers

[delshout1 @delshout1]

Who does the Post Office blame when money goes missing from the Christmas tree?
The branch manager.
#goldcrackers

[delshout1 @delshout1]

Which Christmas song won't Dave Grohl be singing to his new baby?
Little Drummer Boy.
#goldcrackers

[delshout1 @delshout1]

What pea's getting served with Christmas lunch in jail?
P Diddy.
#goldcrackers

[delshout1 @delshout1]

Why did Dave Grohl line his chimney with Lemsip for Santa?
Because he's a flu fighter.
#goldcrackers

[delshout1 @delshout1]

What's UKTV's favourite Christmas game?
Musical Chers.
#Goldcrackers

[delshout1 @delshout1]

Where do you find the smelliest Christmas attraction?
Walking in a Windermere Wonderland.
#goldcrackers

[delshout1 @delshout1]

What's the smelliest Christmas attraction this year?
Windermere Wonderland.
#goldcrackers

[delshout1 @delshout1]

What's Oasis's favourite Christmas film?
It's a Wonderwall Life.
#goldcrackers

[delshout1 @delshout1]

What did Oasis say when they got a turkey drum stick?
You gotta roll with it?
#goldcrackers