The Dependent

SATIRE. Pakistan’s paper of record. Parent publication of lesser known @ePakistanToday.

[Umar Aziz Khan @UmarAzizKhan9]

‘I never thought leopards would eat my face,' sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party"

#FreeKasol #FreeDharamkot as well, I guess….

[Umar Aziz Khan @UmarAzizKhan9]

Shaaba, Bollywood!

[Umar Aziz Khan @UmarAzizKhan9]

“wE nEeD rEgiMe cHanGe iN kAbUL aNd iNsTaLL gOvT tHaT iS aNti TaLiBaN aNd aNti TTP”

[Umar Aziz Khan @UmarAzizKhan9]

قول اور فعل میں تضاد تو دور کی بات، یہاں تو قول کے ایک حصے اور دوسرے حصے ہی میں تضاد ہے۔

[Profit @Profitpk]

Govt says influencer who thinks Moon is centre of solar system should’ve distinguished between betting on derivatives and betting through gambling apps

Read: https://t.co/4RtgkFQosg

[Profit @Profitpk]

PSX will grow even more if League govt stays in power, says teary-eyed PTI-voting sales executive trying to sell you mutual fund

Read: https://t.co/zPXdPm5OLc

[Profit @Profitpk]

Pakistani businesses don’t innovate or work hard, says president of bank that parks 80% of its loans in govt debt

Read: https://t.co/vzjA2o1ty9

[Profit @Profitpk]

Buy the dip in Park View City property values, says real estate agent while taking a dip in Park View City

Read: https://t.co/4t1D2hA8DB

[Umar Aziz Khan @UmarAzizKhan9]

Fehm-o-Danish

[Umar Aziz Khan @UmarAzizKhan9]

Time traveller moves a chair:

[Umar Aziz Khan @UmarAzizKhan9]

Maulana Shehbazuddin and his elder brother, circa 2017.

[Umar Aziz Khan @UmarAzizKhan9]

Cap to Cap, no-cap

[Umar Aziz Khan @UmarAzizKhan9]

Maktab-e-ishq ka dastoor niraala dekha;

Us ko chhutti na mili jis ko sabaq yaad hua

[Umar Aziz Khan @UmarAzizKhan9]

To quote this Onion OpEd by the Gillette CEO:

[Umar Aziz Khan @UmarAzizKhan9]

Breaking: military scientists confirm development of new, six-star rank in lab

[Umar Aziz Khan @UmarAzizKhan9]

IYKYK

[Umar Aziz Khan @UmarAzizKhan9]

Resemblance with another country’s dynamic with another ethnicity coincidental.