Darrin

I was diagnosed with a terminal disease. The doctor said my days are numbered. Now I'm terrified of airports (ALS).

[Darrin @derbyjames]

Dear customer service: First of all, you should know that I’m typing this with my middle finger.

[Darrin @derbyjames]

Long after my toddler's diaper disaster, his pungent shit's odor lingers while attacking my nostrils.

Then I saw what I had on my nose: shit.

[Darrin @derbyjames]

I’m not going to make jokes about vegans…
that would be tasteless.
I have no beef with them. (Ricky Gervais joke with my tag)

[Darrin @derbyjames]

My dog has insomnia , so I'm taking him to the vet to have him put to sleep . I guess the vet tells the dog stories about their military deployments until the dog goes to sleep .

[Darrin @derbyjames]

I’m not going to make jokes about vegans…
that would be tasteless.
I have no beef with them. (Ricky Gervais joke with my tag)

[Darrin @derbyjames]

@gervaisclips Thank you
😃

[Darrin @derbyjames]

@gervaisclips I’m not going to make jokes about vegans…
that would be tasteless.
…I have no beef with them. #TagRickygervaisyourit

[Mikey from Canarsie. (mikeym00n) @mikeym00n]

He's gonna find out if you're naughty or nice.

[The Best @TheBestqueenx]

That look!
That pause!
That paw!
The Queen!

[UnTamed Videos @jushendo]

Bro didn’t even flinch 😂😂

[Darrin @derbyjames]

I’m not going to make jokes about vegans…
that would be tasteless.
…I have no beef with them.

[Darrin @derbyjames]

I'm listening to the scorpions. "Here I am, relaxing like a hurricane."

[Darrin @derbyjames]

I was diagnosed with a terminal disease. The doctor says my days are numbered. Now I'm terrified of airports.

[Dave @gneicco]

Having a butt is not all it’s cracked up to be.

[Darrin @derbyjames]

@Elonmusklona HOPE

[Darrin @derbyjames]

@ElonMusk_LordX YES! But I think we should stick to two max,8 years!

[Darrin @derbyjames]

@sallysnark I can relate... I've got a couple teens.

[Darrin @derbyjames]

I tried hypnosis on my wife, but she’s convinced "it doesn’t work." She says that on every odd day of the month after giving me a blow-job.

[Darrin @derbyjames]

I fought the Murphy's Law and the Murphy's Law won.

[Darrin @derbyjames]

@essdogg Love this joke!