Despair, Inc.

Inventor of Demotivators® and other fine products for discerning pessimists.

[Jawwwn @jawwwn_]

From @anduriltech’s @PalmerLuckey:

What is the #1 job most kids want today?

“It’s social media influencer, next is professional gamer, next is YouTuber… the problem is, you can’t tell kids to follow their dreams when their dreams suck.”

What was the #1 dream for kids in 1971?
To be an astronaut 👨‍🚀 🌕

“We had just gone to the moon… These guys were fighter pilots, PhD mathematician super men, who were also really good looking and well spoken… the ultimate American hero ideal. For a kid to see that and say ‘that’s what I want to be,’ okay tell the kids to follow their dreams.”

[Despair, Inc. @despairinc]

NEW DESPAIRWEAR: The Social Distancing Tee

"A lifetime of social distancing prepared me for this."

Find out how our new t-shirt helps introverts, wallflowers, and agoraphobes channel their neuroses for the good of those in need.

https://t.co/Yvk8uKMUzq

[Despair, Inc. @despairinc]

Death by Trademark Infringement. ☹️(TM)

[Despair, Inc. @despairinc]

Want to hear something cray? We are 5 days away from the 20th Anniversary of Demotivator® posters going viral. (Oct 22) At the time, Internet had 147 million users. In the past two decades, it has added around 4 billion more. And most are in despair👍! https://t.co/robWnYEt99

[Mark Parsons @mark_parsons]

@boredpanda So, not really a million miles from the "demotivator" posters and calendars that @despairinc have been doing for decades (-ish) over at https://t.co/63Y4J3r0YR?

[Despair, Inc. @despairinc]

Executives (https://t.co/YaSo0fHMt4) TL/DR “Skip inspiration, go straight to radical demotivation.”
https://t.co/NdTLtrpoww

[Despair, Inc. @despairinc]

@leesbian You can’t even buy it anymore. That’s how very alone you really are. https://t.co/C3b6KpMz67

[Christian Buckley @buckleyplanet]

Love that @MarksWazza is using https://t.co/2G8RimCRMi images in his #SPSDBN session. I have two framed Despair posters in my home office

[Despair, Inc. @despairinc]

Y’all kids today don’t even KNOW!

[Despair, Inc. @despairinc]

When World’s Collide… @happyproduct https://t.co/XndbTIbKLV https://t.co/YPLcXz8F33

[Michael Schaub @michaelschaub]

Also here I am holding a Spanish-language copy of "The Little Prince" for some reason.

[Despair, Inc. @despairinc]

The era of burger-flipping robots is here! It's a good news, bad news thing. https://t.co/UY5fnyqoAV https://t.co/uF4JG4lEWm

[Despair, Inc. @despairinc]

Once they start selling off naming rights to individual Football Plays… We call dibs on this one… “4th & Despair®” https://t.co/NmLGxYwrpZ

[Despair, Inc. @despairinc]

@zach_dorman @EOrthodoxy Sometimes sharing the good news means breaking the bad news!

[Despair, Inc. @despairinc]

@DShaywitz @daviesbj When you're ready to send them on the downward spiral into the grim, disconsolate reality of adult ennui, we've got your back!

[Despair, Inc. @despairinc]

@realDrMehr How about the last management book they’ll ever need to read?
https://t.co/YaSo0fHMt4

[Despair, Inc. @despairinc]

If you've ever wondered what supply chain disruptions look like up close, the epic journey of this envelope shipment says it all.

[Despair, Inc. @despairinc]

Thanks for the mention. We take a subtler approach, but any and all means should be deployed to stop the corrosive impact of Big Motivation! https://t.co/KP1bDOgMBg

[Retiario, hace ocho años @Retiario]

But before that there was @despairinc

[Despair, Inc. @despairinc]

@thelinkedinman Inspired by a frustratingly messy attempt to eat with a spork. Our head writer is petty enough to find mocking a utensil masculating.

[Despair, Inc. @despairinc]

The rip in your poster risked reducing its power to totally destroy your hope. Naturally, we couldn't allow that to happen! https://t.co/Kj11RhaPhi

[Despair, Inc. @despairinc]

@MeghnaWBUR @MIT Our college dropout writers are proud to see their works displayed in institutions of higher learning / debt enslavement! ;-)