Biggest 🤯 moment in my healing journey so far has been that I can be angry without either hurting others or myself, and without either intimidating and insulting other people or myself, and I can even share this anger without exploding. That’s like, woah holy fck bc I grew up in
If you lack emotional intelligence we will never work out for real. i’m not teaching you how to apologize, how to take accountability, or how to treat me with respect. these are basic qualities you should already possess before entering a relationship.
being in a healthy relationship really taught me there's no such thing as 'that's just the way i am'. when you truly love someone you work on those toxic traits, you learn to communicate, you actively listen to each others thoughts & feelings – you adjust, grow & heal together.
It's been months since I've written a longer piece, and it's a 1500-word manifesto around emotions
- on being drenched in aliveness
- on embracing anger, terror, grief
- on unfolding the beautiful worlds inside you
- on noticing the raucous, exploding symphony of things
Yeah for sure. A lot of narcissistic wounding (which =/= NPD as a diagnosable disorder tho this would also apply there) is about being unable to tolerate reality due to an overwhelm of shame. So an example of a narcissistic wound playing out in real time might be: feeling hurt or rejected in some way that brings up shame and instinctively dissociating into a fantasy of being loved by a perfect person or achieving something very impressive in the world that unequivocally proves one’s worth. Rather than staying present with the pain of what has happened.
Narcissism is so taboo atm that it’s hard to talk about it sanely online, but narcissistic wounding is pretty common (one could even argue inherent to all insecure attachment), and the work of undoing it is mostly the work of confronting toxic shame and letting go of fantasy.
The tricky thing about healing our narcissistic parts is that it means giving up the redemption fantasies that, for most of our lives, may have served as our strongest defences against depression.
@HeidiPriebe1 has a YT channel called “Heal NPD”. He specializes in treating npd and also talks about attachment a bit. Idk if that’s what you’re looking for but it’s been nice hearing people talk abt this without judgement
@HeidiPriebe1 Man that seems so true. I’m diagnosed with NPD and your videos have helped me a ton in the past 6 months or so. It’s unraveled lots of my trauma and wounding as you say. I recommend Mark Ettensohn - he has a book called “Unmasking Narcissism” which helped me a bit, and he also