Jessi

I didn't unfollow you. I just deleted my twitter account for awhile.

Awkward vibes only.

[Jessi @detailedpig]

Actual image of me anytime I have a really challenging poop. Check out Chicken House on Tubi and other places! https://t.co/v1YiTlrmgA

[Jessi @detailedpig]

@Dflynn9483 Bro I have to visit someday!!!#&$$&*$[÷*#&#

[Jessi @detailedpig]

@zachsmithcomedy I think as long as your heart rate is in like the lower cardio zone (for me it's about 138 to 145) you are probably good to do it every day. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR LEGS AREN'T JELLY THE NEXT DAY! Go off royalty!

[Jessi @detailedpig]

Omg I can't even squat the bar anymore! Not with good form at least. Getting sick RUINED my gains! >[

[Jessi @detailedpig]

"He's the type of mother fucker who neatly folds his condom wrapper." Husband, once again, has such a way with describing people.

[Jessi @detailedpig]

Friend: So I started a new career, I'm getting married, and I'm starting up a non-profit. What have you been up to?

Me: ... I've been making a rope out of my cat's fur...

[Jessi @detailedpig]

"My childhood was pretty rough." NO SHIT! YOU ARE A FUCKING MERMAID!

[Jessi @detailedpig]

@TheRyeLynn The cats don't care. They just stay on their little tower. Lolol

[Jessi @detailedpig]

Is it the cuter the cat, the smellier the shit? Cuz that has been my experience.

[Jessi @detailedpig]

@michalightning I like how well the blue matches your pic background!

[Jessi @detailedpig]

Husband said I have the same essence as a bounce house, and I've never felt more seen.

[Jessi @detailedpig]

Just remembered the time I wore an army jacket in middle school and someone said they liked it and I said, "Thanks, it's my boyfriend's. He goes to another school."

[Jessi @detailedpig]

Kohl's is based.

[Jessi @detailedpig]

No one:
Me: If you push with your butthole while you're using a bidet, you get an enema.

[Jessi @detailedpig]

@zachsmithcomedy Hunter's Ridge apartments by me are decent. It's a fine area in OKC. Not the coolest, but it's so expensive living near the neato areas.

[Jessi @detailedpig]

@Visiblystupid Uh oh. Me and Husband are in trouble. 😲

[Jessi @detailedpig]

My psychologist went over into my time with another patient. So I decided to cry in my session so he knows my problems are more important than the fella's before me. I uhhh...may need to talk to a therapist about that.

[Jessi @detailedpig]

@heatherllevy That would make sense. IDK HOW I HADN'T HEARD ABOUT THE WILDFIRES!

[Jessi @detailedpig]

Bro I've seen 3 dead hawks on the side of the road in the past 3 days. Wtf is going on?

[Jessi @detailedpig]

@aaronwildr HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Idk what to ask the fella. But I feel like officers sometimes choose escalation. It's not even about de-escalating. How about the damn officers don't actively make situations worse?